


Taking Out the Trash

by samzillastomps



Series: Sentimental Rubbish [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Mafia AU, broke Hux, criminal syndicates and underhanded dealings, young kids in trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:16:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samzillastomps/pseuds/samzillastomps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’re safe for now.” A breath of air, barely past Ren’s lips, almost inaudible as the monster raged outside. “We’ll wait for him to leave.”</p><p>“You owe me so much of an explanation,” Hux mumbled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hux cursed as a splat of ketchup landed on his keyboard. The laptop was old, was already barely functioning, this was the last thing he needed. He sopped up the red sauce with a corner of his bread, leaving some crumbs. Worse for the keys, in retrospect. _Damn._ If he wasn’t starving, he’d throw the ketchup sandwich in frustration. However, he knew this was the last bread slice, the last tablespoon of ketchup. His stomach growled. It would have to do until payday.

He sighed, resuming his scouring of the website for odd jobs. Maid? _Easy._ New tab. Dog-walker? _Less likely, but okay_ . New tab. Take out… _hold up._ Hux felt another glob of ketchup threaten to drip down past his knuckles. He brought his hand to his lips half-heartedly to catch it on his tongue as it fell. The job was listed as “take out trash”, but it paid... a full freaking grand.

_You've gotta be kidding me._ He clicked and read through, skimming, afraid it would disappear, its hefty reward claimed. “Blah blah blah, meet at Corbeau Estates, blah blah, discuss disposal, blah, half now, half when trash gone--” _Shit!_

Hux stuffed the rest of the 'sandwich' into his mouth and typed out an immediate acceptance email. He barely waited two seconds for a reply, and he was so sure he’d been rejected that tomato-bile rose in his throat.

“Oh my god. You don’t know what this means to me. I can’t thank you enough. Meet me at my place in thirty minutes. -- Ren,” Hux read aloud. _Huh._ _That’s … disconcerting, to say the least. But hey! Five-hundred dollars!_

“Alright Ren. Must be some wicked smelly garbage,” Hux mumbled, and was on his way out before his screensaver could even dim the laptop.

It didn’t take but ten minutes to get across town, which is why the kid probably sounded so surprised when Hux rang the doorbell. His voice was trembling when Hux heard his reply via the intercom.

“Yes? Who is it?”

“Hey! It’s… I’m the guy who was, who responded to your, y’know?” _Th-th-th-th-th-that’s all folks._ Hux took a long, steeling breath, and finished, “The guy who responded to your ad?” Long silence. Suspicion bleeding through the intercom. Hux gave a small chuckle, hoping it sounded genuine. “I know you said get here in thirty, but I thought why wait?”

“You’re unarmed?” A shaky question, from what sounded more and more like a cold little squirrel instead of a person. The person’s voice was low and tremulous. Hux rolled his eyes as high as he could. How old was this kid?

“Yeah. I’m unarmed.”

“Twirl around. Let me see.” Hux felt his expression wipe to neutral, glanced up into the circular black orb that was apparently a camera above the intercom. He smiled wanly, envisioned his future filled with more sad ketchup sandwiches. _Keep that insolence in check._ He put his hands up and turned slowly in a circle. He couldn’t help the tiny shrug at the end of his twirl. He tried to smile to cover it up, hoping he came off as disarming instead of predatory.

“Fourth floor.” With a buzz, Hux was let in. He didn’t let himself take in the surroundings, they were much too harsh a contrast to his shit-hole apartment. He knew the high-rise condominiums stretched up to far higher than the fourth floor, that this building was actually a staple of the city’s skyline. He could see it from his flat’s roof. Still, the lavish decor reminded him of a hotel. He found it distasteful. _Most dogs have it better than you_ , he reminded himself, _so what if this kid does too_? He would do the job, not think about class disparity in Saluta City, and leave. And then go shopping. For food! No more white bread, finally some multigrain! He tried to slow his pulse.

There was a sign-in sheet by the entrance, just past an expansive lobby with white leather chairs and a glass coffee table that reflected the golden twinkling lights above. Hux felt in his jacket pocket, came up empty.

“You got a pen I can borrow?” he asked, turning to the doorman who was trying to apparently blend in with the black filigree wallpaper.

“There’s not one on the counter?” the doorman snapped. _Jeez, sorry_ . Hux shook his head, furrowing his brows together. The doorman sighed. “Okay. Borrow mine.” He pulled one from his black overcoat, his eyes hidden by the little hat they must give you at doorman school. Hux thanked him, suppressed the dumb thoughts he was having, and began to scribble in the sign-in sheet. He paused over the space where it said ‘purpose of visit’. Alarm bells. _I don’t really know_. He swallowed hard, then scratched out in neat, tiny letters, ‘dispose rubbish’. Felt fancier than saying he was there to collect the trash some kid didn’t want to take out.

He signed one of his names with a flourish, a bad habit that always trailed the pen marks long and off the page, then handed the pen back to its master. The guy’s hands were huge, dwarfing the pen as he took it back. Hux frowned, tried to catch the man’s eye to say thanks. He couldn’t. Hux felt the hairs on the back of his neck and on his forearms raise up in a shiver.

“Have a good one,” he said, but the doorman was too busy ignoring him to reply.

Hux decided to take the elevator instead of the stairs. Give himself some time to stand a bit straighter, look presentable in his ripped black jeans and oversized leather coat. _Feels weird, wearing secondhand clothes in place like this._ He was being accosted by smells that he much preferred over the stale mustiness that had soaked into his apartment. The elevator was taking so long, he decided to try to list them.

Gardenia, for sure. Maybe a hint of some kind of tart berry behind it? Pomegranate? Was that even a thing? _Bet they don’t allow smoking_ . One good reason to never live here, he reasoned. _As if you could ever afford the choice_. The elevator arrived, its doors sliding open and flooding Hux with even more perfumed air, and he got in with a grimace. He resisted fingering the golden buttons on the control panel to his left, his squashed anxiety still making his fingers shake. A drop in his stomach signaled that he was being lifted up, so smoothly that it was almost as if he weren't moving at all.  _Why does this feel so wrong?_ The elevator door opened with a chime, much faster than Hux had expected, and revealed a boy about his height.

“Hey man,” Hux said, stepping from the elevator, “Are you Ren?”

“Kylo Ren, yeah.”

“Should I call you Kylo?”

“Call me anything you like,” the kid said, looking beyond him at the stairwell to his left and at the elevator behind him. His expression was pained.

“Cool. My name’s Hux.” Hux extended his hand, but the boy just glanced at it with wide-eyed suspicion. Ren was tall, but over the intercom his voice had been so shaky that Hux couldn’t begin to guess his age.

“You’d better come inside,” Ren said, hurrying him along, Hux’s hand unshaken. Annoyed but gritting his teeth to keep a nice face on, Hux followed.

Ren ushered him into his apartment, closing the door and locking it behind them with a regular knob lock, a deadbolt, a padlock, and then a chain. Hux felt his mouth go cold, a strange sensation leading from his tongue to the soft palette, to the roof of his mouth. He knew this had been too good to be true, he was about to get mugged or kidnapped or… _worse_.

“Why so many locks?” he asked, his voice low.

“Trust me. We need them.”

“Unlock it now. I want to leave.”

“No,” Ren looked up at him with bright eyes, “you can’t.” _Fuck_. Hux was frozen, but not out of fear. Was this kid… crying? Ren swallowed, struggling with words. “Please. Try to understand. These won’t even protect us for very long.”

“Hey, hey,” Hux pulled him forward, to where he assumed was the kitchen, as the kid started to sob quietly into his hands. _Whoops, bedroom._ Ren’s black curls fell around his face, like a protective curtain, so he didn’t see. Hux backstepped, tried the next door. _Success_ . “Here, let’s get you some water, okay Kylo?” Saying his first name seemed to snap the kid out of it. He ducked his shoulder out from underneath of Hux’s arm, sniffling a bit and swiping at his eyes with both hands. Hux noticed, not unpleasantly, that the kid had a speckling of random dark freckles on his face. Like beauty spots. _Beautiful._

“Forgive me, I’m … I’m just under a lot of stress right now. I don’t normally…”

“It’s fine.” Hux could tell he was embarrassed, and he preferred not to dwell on this kind of stuff either. “Tell me where you keep your glasses.”

“Up there, to the right,” Ren motioned. Hux found some, spotless, and moved to the sink.

“So where are your parents? Will they be home--” Hux started filling the glass, and Ren gave a groan of displeasure.

“Don’t use that!” Ren interrupted frantically, as if Hux had just poured sludge into his glass. Hux froze at the tone. The kid’s eyes were flinted obsidian, harsh and unforgiving. “Go into the fridge, use the filtered water.” Hux stood at the sink, tap still running, and raised one eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

“I…” The kid flushed, angry but not at him. He lowered his eyes, then whispered, “I mean, please.”

“That’s better,” Hux answered, getting no further sass from him. He slapped off the tap, turned to the fridge, and began to suspect that a grand from this brat was out of the question. Some kid just didn’t want to do his chores, seemed like. _Whatever. Take what you can. Maybe his allowance is more than you make in a week._ “Now. Your parents?”

“I don’t have any.”

The glass almost slipped out of his grasp, but he caught it and slopped water on himself instead. He cursed under his breath, turned to Ren, closed the fridge. The kid was staring at him, as if he were assessing his every move. _Sharp eyes_.

“No parents?” He shook his head. Hux narrowed his eyes. “How old are you?”

“How old are you?” the kid rejoined.

“I’ll be eighteen in October,” Hux said, unflinching.

“Do _you_ live alone?”

“Of course, I’m old enough,” he snapped, not wanting to get into it further. “Now answer me, please.”

“Me too. I’m old enough.”

“Are we done here, Kylo?” Hux growled. “Or do you want me to get upset?” The kid bit his lip.

“Fifteen. I’ll be sixteen in a week.” _Brat._

“And you have no parents here?”

“I’ve lived alone since I was thirteen.”

“That’s not legal,” Hux bit out, more out of concern than annoyance now. He set the water down hard on the granite kitchen island. The kid took the glass so fluidly that Hux swore it had moved on its own. He shook his head in disbelief. He’d only just responded to this kid’s ad like… twenty minutes ago. Now this? “How are you living alone in a place like this?” _Tell me, so I can move here_.

Ren fidgeted, grabbing one of his black curls and pulling it forward over his ear. “I got a scholarship. It pays for my housing.”

“Ah. So these are like dorms.”

“Kind of, yes,” Ren said, sipping the water cautiously, as if he hadn’t just spent the last four minutes staring at Hux while he got it for him.

“Fancy dorms, having a doorman and all,” Hux scoffed, no humor in his laugh. Ren choked hard on the water, dropping the glass with a clatter. It bounced once, twice, shattering on the third tiny _ping_ against the marbled floor. Hux ran over, patting Kylo sharply between the shoulder blades. The kid gasped in air, looking up at him with real fear back in his eyes. Hux tried to combat the cold feeling in his chest with a tiny laugh. “Hey. Your water have bones in it or something?”

“What?”

“It’s… it’s just a dumb dad joke, my father used to--”

“No! What did you say, before? About the doorman?” Kylo looked close to tears again. Hux wracks his memory, feeding off Ren’s energy, his hands shaky but his voice firm.

“You must have nice dorms to have a doorman.”

“What did he look like?” The kid didn’t wait for a response, immediately bringing up his palm to cover Hux’s mouth with his hand. “Shh.”

Movement. Footsteps. Dragging. Heartbeats. Hux watched Ren look around, then glanced down at himself. The kid was clutching at him with one arm, his hand like a vicegrip, and the other was slapped over his lips. _All over a grand…_ He should’ve just taken the dog-walking position and been done with it.

“He found me,” Ren whispered, turning again to Hux. _Who??_ “I’ll tell you later, if we survive this,” he promised, like he’d read Hux’s mind.

“Mmf-” Hux’s sound of protest was cut off as Ren shushed him with a glare. Ren’s vulnerability seemed to melt away. Behind his eyes, behind the tears dripping unblinked over his cheeks, was rage. Hux felt his hands still for the first time since he’d driven up to the condos.

“We’ll hide in the master bedroom. There’s a false-back wardrobe we can hide in,” Ren’s breath tickled Hux’s ear. There was a knocking sound coming from outside the condo, a kind of metallic click that left the air feeling staticky in its wake. Hux kept his breathing calm, nodded. Ren’s hand moved a centimeter away from his lips.

“Lead the way,” he mouthed against Ren’s palm. The kid grit his teeth, let go of Hux’s lips to swipe at his tears, and sidestepped the broken glass. He nodded back towards the door, far left of where they’d entered from. Without a word, the two began to stalk over the broken glass puddle and into the back room. _Wait. Stop._

“Hold on. You go,” Hux breathed, pushing Ren in front of him. Some weird protective warmth for the kid - _even though you’re a kid too-_ trumped his fear of whatever was outside and spurred him on. Ren’s eyes were dark, insolent, this kid’s moods more fluid than the puddle of water in the kitchen. _Brat. Really sweet brat._ Hux smiled at Kylo, and the absurdity of that reaction wasn’t lost on either of them. Hux watched it snap Ren back into survival mode. With a nod, Ren moved into the master bedroom just as the handle on the apartment’s door began to jiggle.

“I know you’re in there, Benjamin,” a sweet voice curled around the doorframe. “Little pig, little pig, let me come in…” It sounded to Hux like a smoker who had decided tobacco wasn’t hard enough, and had decided to smoke straight up glass instead.

Glass. He needed to draw the man away, just in case he got in the apartment, and right now the glass and water puddle from the kitchen tracked their movements in the direction of the bedroom. It was slight, but enough. Someone looking for Ren would catch it. As it stood, one of the locks was being fiddled with, most likely being picked, so there wasn’t much time. _No parents, does he have neighbors? Would they hear if I screamed?_

“Last chance, little piggy,” the voice, this ghost, rattled. Hux gulped, and walked back into the kitchen. There was a slight crunch, small enough that nobody would normally be able to hear it. The crackling at the door stopped, however. It was followed by the a villainous chuckle. _Goddamnit goddamnit goddamnit--_

Hux ran. He made as little noise as possible but the sound of his footsteps, desperate to get away from the door, echoed to the creature trying to break in. It began to slam against the door, the deadbolt and padlock hanging fast, and Hux ran through the pristine, white-carpeted living room - _fuck this is a nice place_ \- to the balcony. _Come get me, come on_ . The sliding door was cushioned, quiet except for a whistle as the summer breeze rolled into the apartment. Hux made a noise, a gasp at how high up they were, hoping it sounded genuine. Laughter beyond the front door signaled it was pretty convincing. He took off his shoes as the door banged with renewed frenzy behind him. _It’s going to break, and he’s going to get Kylo_.

_What about me??_ He ignored his conscience as he looped together his shoelaces. It wasn’t about him right now. He twirled his tennis shoes once, twice, then hurled them down the fire escape. The shoes clanged together just enough to sound like someone taking the steps two or three at a time, off rhythm and desperate to escape. Hux did a tiny dance of victory right as he heard the first splintering of wood. It brought him crashing back to reality, forced him to move.

He crept along the wall faster than he thought possible, slinking through the crack in the master bedroom door without any difficulties. _Yay for not being able to afford food._ He closed it silently behind himself, then glanced around the bedroom. He had some trouble adjusting from the beautiful halogen bulbs that lit the living room and kitchen to the blackness that encompassed this place.

“Hux,” came a tiny breath from his right, scaring the shit out of him. He whirled, saw Ren’s beckoning hand, and stepped into the large cherry-wood wardrobe at the far corner of the room by the closet just as the front door splintered completely. His heart was in his throat. He was going to pass out. The creature would get him, drag him out of the wardrobe by his ankles-

The false back was a sliding door, silent and a bit noise-canceling, and Kylo was the only one pulling on him. He was safe. The grunts and cries of the maniac outside seemed further away when the kid shut the panel, encasing them in absolute darkness.

“We’re safe for now.” A breath of air, barely past Ren’s lips, almost inaudible as the monster raged outside. “We’ll wait for him to leave.”

“You owe me _so much_ of an explanation,” Hux mumbled.

“I know,” Ren replied. The kid tried to adjust, his body all uncomfortable limbs, and Hux sighed.

“Come here and stop fidgeting,” he whispered, feeling in the void for Ren’s shoulder. He caught a tangle of curls, a soft cheek damp with tears. _This’ll do._ Hux maneuvered himself silently, pulling Kylo Ren - _the creature called him Benjamin_ \- into his arms. They settled, two heartbeats spiking with every furniture crash and otherworldly growl that reached them from outside. The creature was having a tantrum, presumably destroying everything in sight in search of the boy. Hux curled himself around the small thing in his arms, the small thing that was actually taller than him when they stood side by side, and hushed him as he shook.

When the screams died down outside and the footsteps stomped away, neither one of them knew how long it had been and neither of them asked. They knew they couldn’t stay here, so they moved with difficulty out of the tangle of limbs and heartbeats to try to figure out where to go from here.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo said as he slid the false backing of the wardrobe open. The sound of sirens in the street below reached them, made the kid’s chest clench so hard that Hux could feel his gasp. “You’re not safe here.”

“Nope,” Hux pulled himself from the safety of the hidden cupboard, yanking Ren out with him. “Neither are you. Let’s get going.”

“L-let’s?” The kid’s eyes wavered, suspicious and angry. Like he was expecting to be made fun of, tricked. Tears were caught on his lower lashes. _Who is this kid_ , Hux marveled. _He’s not even allowing himself to cry openly._

“Yes. Let, us. You know English, right?” Hux smirked, yet another dad joke out there. His grin faded to a grimace, “Sorry,” and he moved outside of the bedroom to check the damage. _Holy shit._

The couch was ripped almost in two, as if a gigantic animal with claws had torn it apart in hopes of finding Kylo wrapped inside like the little squirrel Hux had mistaken him for over the intercom. The door to the balcony was unhinged, its glass spiderwebbed in parts as if it had been smashed into by large, meaty fists. Paintings were crooked, the walls lined with large slices, and the flatscreen TV lay in shambles against a bookshelf that had been gutted of all its paperback insides. It was a massacre, albeit only of designer furniture. The sirens approached, ever closer, and Hux winced as he took a step forward.

Turning his ankle up, he noticed a long splinter embedded in his foot. It wasn’t bleeding, thank God, because he must’ve picked it up on his barefoot run to the hiding spot. _That would have led the monster straight to him._ Hux blanched at the thought. He would endure the pain, pull it out later, when blood stains weren’t evidence.

“What’s the hold up?” Ren snapped, behind him with a duffel bag thrown over his shoulders and a look of agitation on his face.

“You’ve been waiting a while for this huh?”

“I have no idea what you mean” the kid said, adjusting the bag and avoiding Hux’s eyes.

_For someone to come take you away, obviously,_ Hux didn’t say. Instead, he sighed aloud.

“Don’t worry about it. Just… what size shoe are you?”


	2. Chapter 2

Hux resented that the kid’s feet were bigger than his. He was wearing a pair of black Converse, laced tight, with a thick pair of socks beneath them to try to fill out the gaps. Hux felt like a clown. It wasn’t like his old shoes had been terribly stylish, but these weren’t even hardly scuffed.  _ Prissy brat _ , he added to a mental list of adjectives that described Ren was accumulating some unpleasant notes.

“Follow me,” Ren whispered, unnecessarily, as they crept down the stairwell into the basement. “This is an underground parking lot. Opening lets out just beyond the next block.” He held a door open for Hux, a little gesture.  _ Charming _ went on the list. “We should be able to get past the cops this way.”

“We should be going  _ to _ the cops,” Hux mumbled. He hoped he was covering his limp well. His foot ached.

“I told you,” Ren hissed, the door slamming behind him, a centimeter from catching his black duffel bag, “no cops!”

“Whatever.”

“You said you were parked out front. Hope we can even get to your car.”

“We should leave it there for a bit. Grab some food.”  _ All I’ve had is- _ He stopped himself from thinking about dinner. It hardly counted as real food, it was desperation. “You hungry?”

“You don’t have any money, do you?” Ren snarked as they walked through the mostly full parking lot. Hux shook his head.

“You got cash? I’m flat broke.”

“Yeah. I got cash.” Ren said it like he resented it.

“Good. I know a place we can grab something quick. Now shut up and lead me out of here.”

“You can’t say that-”

“Kylo,” Hux bit out, using that trump card probably a bit too much. But how could he resist when Ren responded so easily and so quickly to it? He watched as the words stuck in Ren’s throat, saw him swallow them down. Not wanting it to lose its efficacy, Hux figured he’d have to stop using Ren’s first name willy-nilly. It was a shame.

“This way.” Ren strode over to where the ramp down to the underground parking deck sloped left. Up above, Hux could make out voices, concerned spectators. “Hux.” His name on the kid’s lips was always weak with fear.  _ Pathetic _ went on the list. But also, tiny note to the side, barely legible:  _ adorable. _

“I’ve got this,” Hux answered, pulling Ren slightly behind him. “Walk like you have a purpose. Don’t run. If someone talks to you, glare like they have no right.” Ren frowned at him like he didn’t need to be reminded of this. “Yeah, exactly, like that.” Before the kid could say more, Hux took his hand in his and interlocked their fingers.

Kylo seemed to panic for a moment, his hand twitching against Hux’s palm. But Hux led him on, ignoring him, and he seemed to adjust to the human contact almost immediately. They walked on in silence, Hux trying hard not to grunt on every other footfall. The only sound between them as they emerged onto the street flecked with rubber-neckers was the soft puff the duffel bag gave agains the back of Kylo’s knees with every step.

They took a left, away from where the commotion was on the right. Hux focused on a street light two blocks away, anything to get his mind off the pain of standing. He watched it change from green to red, watched it contribute to the haze that surrounded them and prevented him from seeing the stars on clear nights like this.  _ I miss the stars _ .

“How much further?” Ren asked.

“Almost there. Couple of blocks.”

“Are you going to hold my hand the whole time?” he muttered. Hux looked over - _ he’s not much taller, just enough to make you feel it- _ and saw the kid struggling to maintain a neutral expression facing forward.

“I can let go if you-”

“No.” Ren’s hand tightened. “It’s not that. Forget it. Forget I said anything, let’s just go.”

“Consider it forgotten.” Instead, it went on the list.  _ Easily flustered. _

The small, rather rundown diner that Hux was leading them to usually only had about two patrons in it at that hour. The real rush was always when the graveyard shift got off work, when the zombies of Saluta City came trudging in for just enough coffee to get them home without passing out at the wheel. Right then, as Hux and Kylo walked up hand in hand, there was absolutely nobody. Just one solitary waitress’ silhouette at the back, more shadow than person.

The bell above the door sounded weak as it rang out-- tinny, like there was grime inside of it making the clapper sticky. Ren made a face.

“Two?” The waitress, fragile-looking with almond eyes, asked as she gave them a once over.

“Yep.”

“Corner booth, back there by the windows,” she pointed. _Perfect_. They’d have a good view of the direction of the apartments from there, and would have just enough cover from the dim lighting of the diner to keep from being recognized until they saw a threat coming.

“Thank you,” Hux beamed at her, leading Ren to the booth and letting go of his hand in order to sit. Ren stayed standing, hesitant. Hux glanced up, worry creasing his brow. “What?”

“This place is filthy,” Ren hissed down at him. “Why did you bring me here, I thought you wanted food?”

“Sit down.”

“Make me.”

“Listen,” Hux growled, looking up at him in what he hoped was a really threatening way.  _ It’s not the best place but- _ “We need to go someplace nobody thinks you would willingly go.”

“Well, that’s here for sure,” Ren snapped, sitting down in a huff of black blouse and pressed grey slacks. Hux hadn’t noticed before, hadn’t really taken in the quality of the little prince before him, but he really was high class. Silver chain necklace hiding a pendant just beyond his ebony buttons, the crease in his pants sharper than the knives Hux owned at home. And here he was, sitting across from basically a homeless person, dressed in a Goodwill leather jacket two sizes too big, his jeans frayed at the knees. Hux felt jealousy, masquerading as hate, well up.  _ Stop that, you got bigger fish to fry. _

The waitress came over, set down a stainless steel kettle of coffe and two cups before pulling out her notepad, and asked, “So?”

“Ren?” Hux asked, since the kid was the one who had the money here. Ren smirked at him, smug once he recognized that he held the power again.

“What do you recommend here-” he leaned forward, reading her name off of the pin just below her lilac collar, “-Jane?”

“Apple pie’s fresh. Goes good with coffee. You want your regular?” she asked, unceremoniously interrupting the kid to point with her pen at Hux. He grinned, about to nod.

“Absolutely not,” Ren looked aghast. “He’ll have water.” Hux’s face fell.  _ Excuse me? _ “Tap water,” Ren finished, looking over at him completely self-satisfied.  _ Selfish. Smug. Bully. _ The mental list was getting a bit full.

“That’ll be it? A water?”

“No, I’ll actually have two pieces of the apple pie, please,” Ren said. The waitress sighed, probably at the end of her shift, and Hux mouthed  _ sorry _ to her as she walked past him to grab their food.

“Way to be a dick,” Hux quipped.

“I don’t like this place, I feel like we’re still too close.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of doing that on purpose,” Hux said, frowning. Ren’s mouth twisted, anger barely contained behind those lips. Hux sighed. “You expected me to drag you to safety, I get that. Your duffel bag is prepared, you got that hiding place of yours in the apartment. It’s like you expected this to happen.”

“I…” the kid at least had the decency to shut his mouth instead of lying to him, but those eyes.  _ If looks could kill _ . Hux nodded. 

“Thought so.” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, tapping one out and gently sucking it between his curled lips. He glanced up as he fingered his inner liner pocket for his ever-disappearing lighter, caught Ren’s hungry stare. “What, you smoke?”

“Sometimes.”

“Want one?” Hux offered the pack with his left hand, completely serious. Kylo’s eyes fell, once again, suspicion. Hux sighed, bringing his right hand out of his pocket to take the cigarette from his mouth. “Look. I don’t know what’s going on. But you’re hurting, and alone, and I’m not going to add to the pile of people who have obviously fucked you over. So you can either choose to talk to me right now so I can come up with some type of solution to this, or I leave your ass here and go home like nothing happened.”

“Home to your shithole apartment? Without my money?”

“Yes.” He didn’t have to ask how Ren knew it was a shithole. Hux knew he seemed the type. It wasn’t really by choice, just some bad-- it wasn’t the time.  _ This is not about that _ . “So do you want my help, or not?”

“Are you referring to the ad I placed? To the thousand dollars?”

“I…”  _ wasn’t, but now…  _ “I am.” His arms relaxed, his wrists touching the table between them. Ren leaned forward, looking strangely older than fifteen. The darkness, the rage, was back behind his eyes. For a moment, had he been anyone else, Hux would’ve felt scared.

“I have your money. If I didn’t think it unwise to wave around five-hundred dollars in crisp new bills, I’d have given it to you already.” Ren’s tone was hushed, but still managed to convey deep frustration. “Satisfied?” Could this really be the same kid who, just moments ago, had told him that he couldn’t leave because it wasn’t safe? Had cried because he was so scared?  _ Intense _ went on the list. Hux wasn’t sure if it went on the good side or bad side though. Either way, it was near the top.

“Okay.” Hux sighed. “It’s going to go down like this. You’re going to talk to me, then pay me. Then I figure out a way to help you out,” Hux sat back, his turn to be self-satisfied. Ren scoffed.

“Fine. Can I have a smoke now?”

“You may,” Hux said, holding out the pack and replacing his cigarette in between his lips while he struggled to find his lighter. Ren slid one from the pack.  _ Too many layers, too many pockets-- got it _ .

Ren leaned forward, two fingers holding the cigarette in place while the rest lay elegantly on his chin.  _ Elegant. _ That one surprised Hux. He shook his head, recognized that Ren expected his cigarette to be lit before his own, and gave a chuckle. Hux made eye contact with the kid, narrowing them - _ I dare you to be offended _ \- and clicked the flame at the end of his own cigarette, drawing in the fire and listening to the quick burn of the paper with satisfaction. He took a deep, steadying drag, and then blew the smoke out of his mouth toward the window.

“Very cute,” Ren mumbled from behind his hand, his eyes steely and bright. “ _ May I _ borrow that, if you’re not going to light it for me?” His tone was mocking, higher than his regular voice, and Hux laughed despite himself.

Instead of passing him the lighter, which would’ve been the easiest thing to do, Hux leaned forward. Steadying his cigarette with his index and middle finger, he glanced up to make sure Ren knew what he was doing. The kid stared, unmoving, intense. Hux touched the tip of his lit cig to Kylo’s, watched the kid inhale and draw the flame to himself. A few short breaths and it was passed, Ren sitting back to blow the smoke up towards the ceiling. Hux hated him for how dignified he looked, even rumpled and relaxed.  _ Kid probably feels like he’s sitting across from a homeless person _ .

“I should start at the beginning, right?”

“Probably best.”

“Summary, or detailed?”

“Summary first. If I can get you with a plan to get out of whatever mess you’re in, we’ll talk details later.”

Ren took a long drag on the cigarette, then glanced at the table for a place to ash it. Hux rolled his eyes, pulling the ashtray out from the side with the napkins and condiments, setting it in front of Ren with a clang. He seemed not to notice, and instead tapped the slight ash of his smoke into the ceramic tray.  _ He looks like a movie star being interviewed about an upcoming role.  _ Hux really wanted to hate him.

“I told you I don’t have parents. Not really. I gave them up when I joined this crime syndicate.”

“Which one,” Hux scoffed, referring to the crazy amount of seedy organizations in Saluta.

“Black Regent,” Ren replied. Hux’s eyes grew wide. He hadn’t expected the kid to answer, and had even less expected to hear that name spill like smoke from his lips.

“They’re-”

“Yeah,” Ren swallowed, shaky. “Pretty bad, right?”

“When you were thirteen?” Hux tried to keep his voice low, but the incredulity slipped out. He felt his cigarette grow heavy, hurriedly tapped it in the ashtray so it wouldn’t fall on the tabletop. “Jesus.”

“I know. It was stupid. But they caught me on the street, offered me money, power, blah, blah, blah,” he paused, inhaling more nicotine to blunt whatever he felt about that first interaction. When he spoke again, smoke curled out of his lips as if he were some sort of demon.  _ It suits him. _ “I got in pretty deep, did some things I’m not proud of.”

“I imagine so,” Hux said, taking a drag of his own so that he wouldn’t have to elaborate.  _ Keep your mouth shut. Five. Hundred. Dollars. Mouth. Shut. _

“But I couldn’t do this… one thing.” Ren paused, biting at his lip. Those tears again, unbidden and unwelcome. His eyes were perfect for them, seemed made for them. They lit up the black pools like polished agate.  _ Beautiful. Was that already on the list? _

Hux flinched as Ren’s hand holding the cigarette slammed hard on the table, the ashtray jumping as if it had been startled too. The kid gave a low, frustrated groan. “One thing!” He brought both hands to his face, covering it, presumably while he cried. Hux watched, frozen, entranced. Kylo sniffled, recomposing himself as quickly as he had broken down, and delicately flicked the tip of his cigarette into the half-empty tray. “It’s why I put the ad up today.”

“About… the trash?”

“Yeah,” Ren held the cigarette between his lips, making air quotes with both hands, “I was so upset that ‘take out the trash’ was the best I could do.” Hux swallowed.

“So… it’s not literal trash?” His voice felt small. Ren paused, staring him down, and the shout of laughter that emanated from the boy made Hux feel like he was the younger of the two. He struggled not to blush harder as the kid giggled, trying to quell the fit of laughter.

“You thought someone would pay a grand to actually take out--” Ren’s eyes creased in a smile. If it didn’t suit him so much, Hux would’ve probably been angrier. But as it was, the lines made him seem younger.  _ Is it possible for creases to do that? To look like the opposite of wrinkles? _ “Oh man,” Ren sighed, “Thank you, I needed that today. God you’re stupid.”

“Saved your ass,” Hux rejoined, grateful that the kid had given him a reason to refocus and stop staring so hard. He flushed too easily, was too easy to read. He’d have to make a separate list of things to do to Ren, his personality list was too crowded as it was. He blushed harder, realizing how that sounded, and tried to focus on Ren’s ramblings.

“-and that was when my boss passed the assignment to me. I couldn’t kill her. I saw her picture and tried to work up to it, I mean… it’s not like I hadn’t ‘trashed’ people before,” Hux noticed that when he said that, he almost winked over the table.  _ This fucking kid. _ “But with her, she was just… too small.” Ren stared off, out the window and across the street, back to where his condominiums were. “I took the coward’s way out. I hired you instead.”

“Now who’s the stupid one?” Hux sneered.

“Alright, look,” Ren leaned forward across the table, his eyes readjusting as if he’d walked into a brightly lit room from a dark cave, his pupils dilating sharply. “I’m gonna need something from you here.”

“Besides my help in getting you out of your apartment?”

“Yes. Give me some information. Something about you!” He leaned back, his cheeks flush. Hux smiled. “I feel too vulnerable saying more.”

“I don’t want anything about me to get back to the Black Regent.” This part was true. The other part was that Hux rather liked how flustered Ren looked when he realized how much he’d been talking without meaning to.

“I swear to you, it stays between us.” The boy swallowed, his throat bobbing as if he couldn’t get the words out. “I doubt they’ll be letting me back anyway after this.”

Hux watched him, really took in his appearance. Sure he had the look down, sleek and designer, but his hair was ruffled and unkempt. His eyes were glazed over with tears again - _ what a crybaby _ \- and his lip was only steady because he had it in a death grip on his cigarette. His hands were shaky. Here they were, two should-be high school students, sitting in a diner close to midnight, talking about mob dirty work. Hux chuckled despite himself.  _ How the fuck does this kind of stuff always happen to me? _

“My name’s not legally Hux, but it might as well be. I’ve been on the run since I was twelve, ran away from my home the first time when I was eleven, but it was unsuccessful.” He pressed on, bringing the two cups closer to himself and setting his almost-unsmoked cigarette on the rim of the ashtray while he poured them coffee. He ignored the wide-eyed way Ren was watching him speak, ignored the way the kid’s lips were parted in surprise.  _ Just let enough out to let him know you understand, no more than that. Be careful.  _ “The first time I tried to run away, I only got to the driveway before I gave up and went back. The next time, I got further. Caught the subway, snuck on a few trains. Ended up in Saluta. Been making my way here, scraping by, ever since. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but they were all legal.” Hux looked up, passed the coffee mug with a push of his knuckles towards Ren. “But I don’t judge you for whatever you did. We have a lot in common, you and I.”

“More than I realized,” Kylo stammered, then paused, as if the words embarrassed him. He picked up the coffee, also setting down his cigarette, and sipped at it the same suspicious way he had the filtered water. He made a tiny grimace, barely a quirk of his lips, but Hux caught it. There was a pause, a smooth lull in the conversation. Hux assumed Ren was piecing shit together.  _ Good. Let him try. Let him feel like he knows enough _ . Jane came back with the two pieces of pie, set them down in front of Ren. She sat a glass of tap water in front of Hux, and he forced a smile just to spite his counterpart.

“Thank you,” Hux said aloud to her, but she reacted like he’d mouthed it. She breezed past, going back to dishes or inventory or whatever it was she was doing out of sight. A passing siren startled both kids to look deep into their coffee, their heads ducked down as the blue and red lights colored their cheeks and tight-lipped mouths.

“So, you’re no better than me,” Ren finally whispered, breaking the silence.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Hux frowned, snapping back at him. The kid looked up, smug again, as if he had enough info in place to feel self-righteous again. He sighed.

“Want one of these?”

“What… you ordered them both for yourself?” Hux asked, frowning. “Are you that hungry?”

“Nope,” Ren smiled wider now. “Thanks for the cigarettes though-”

“Cigarettes, as in you want more than one? What makes you think-”

“-tell you what, I’ll trade you the slice of pie for another cigarette. Maybe two.”

Their sentences overlapped, their words as tangled as their limbs had been in the hiding spot behind the wardrobe. Here they were, pretending they weren’t scared shitless. Pretending they were actually into arguing over such a little thing.  _ So much in common _ . Hux wasn’t sure which list that fell on, again, but it was first on his mind, echoing as Ren slid the plate over to him.

“Alright, so,” Hux said around the first messy mouthful of apple pie.

“Chew your fucking food before you speak to me,” Ren spat. Hux begrudgingly agreed, closing his mouth and swallowing the too-sweet pastry. He was just so hungry, he’d forgone manners. He cleared his throat.

“As I was saying, because I was so rudely interrupted-” a scoff from Ren, “-the summary of our situation goes thusly: you’re on the run from the Black Regent. You failed a mission-”

“Saying it like that makes it sound like something out of a videogame,” Ren protested.

“Or the military?” Hux suggested, attempting to mollify the brat. Kylo sat back, obviously pleased with the distinction, but not wanting to show it.  _ Easy. _ “So you failed a mission, can’t go back, and now you have to get somewhere safe. So tell me, what territories are off limits, and what territories are safe?”

“Well,” Ren took a small forkful of the pie, chewed it pensively. Hux couldn’t tell if he was trying to think about their next move, or trying to not let on how much he hated the pie. The way Ren set his fork down and pushed the plate away gave him his answer. “All yours,” he said to Hux. Halfway done with his own piece already, Hux didn’t complain. “Anyway,” Ren lit up the second cigarette Hux had lent him with a lighter of his own, produced from god knows where.  _ His pants are so tailored they would have shown that _ , Hux thought, then immediately reddened. He shoved his face into both plates of pie as Kylo pressed on. “Fervor Alley’s gone, we own like three clubs there. Clip Side is out, I know too many dealers up north.” He smoked as he mused, his voice sounding like someone talking through a tough algebra equation. “We might be able to go to this one club, outskirts of the city, kind of crappy…”

“Doesn’t seem like the kind of place you’d hang out at,” Hux said wryly.

“Yeah but it’ll suit someone like you,” Ren shot back. He continued, unperturbed by Hux’s attempt at a death glare. “I know a woman there, she was really kind to me when I first ran away. I’m pretty sure if I came to her, she’d shelter us. If she remembers me.”

“Us?” Hux swallowed the last of his second slice of pie and grabbed up the pack of cigarettes himself. “I’m dropping you off, kiddo.”

“Nuh-uh, won’t work,” Kylo moved his index and middle finger back and forth in front of his face, the smoke from the cigarette forming a languid Z in the air as if the particles were telling Hux no as well. “You gotta stay with me until I’m sure I’m safe. Only way for you to get the other five hundred in the deal.”

“The other?” Hux blew out smoke in Ren’s face. “You never even gave me the first five!”

“I intend to, if you’ll grow up,” Ren sputtered.

“You’re the one who needs to grow up, I’m older than you.”

“Not by much,” Ren purred, probably intending to sound flippant. The effect was, instead, mesmerizing. Hux’s jaw clenched hard.  _ He’s messing with you _ .

“I don’t need the money,” Hux lied. Ren laughed cruelly, his eyes changing once more. Hux marveled at that, how two dark irises could convey so much so easily.

“You know you do.”

“I know I do,” Hux repeated halfheartedly. Kylo’s gaze softened slightly, as if he hadn’t expected Hux to repeat it. “Alright. So our plan right now is to finish our coffee, then head to the safe haven club?”

“You’re almost exactly on point with the name,” Ren smiled. “And yes.” Hux reached across the table, pulling Kylo’s coffee cup forward and tipping its contents into his own half-empty mug. “What the hell are you doing, there’s a full thermos thing right there?”

“I can tell you don’t like the taste.” Hux sipped at the brim of the mug before lifting it, bending himself low to the table.  _ He left more than I thought. _ “Don’t worry, I’ll stop on the way to the club and grab you up some fancy gourmet shit. Something that’ll suit someone like you,” he grinned as he said it. Hux watched, satisfied, as Kylo Ren turned to look out the window at the waning crowd and pretended like he wasn’t blushing fiercely.


	3. Chapter 3

When they left the diner, Ren took his hand and led Hux to the alley beside the restaurant.

“Here,” he passed Hux an envelope from inside of his blouse. Hux flushed, thinking of where it had been hidden. _In his belt? His waistband?_ Ren was talking again. “Go ahead. You can count it. You won’t offend me.”

Hux let go of Ren’s hand to take it and open it, fully intending to count it out in front of the kid. Every single bill. But he closed it after just a cursory glance. _That’s a lot of twenties._

“I trust you,” Hux admitted. “Plus, you need me. You wouldn’t fuck me over.” He hadn’t meant the last part to come off threatening, but the slump of Ren’s shoulders and the way those cruel eyes widened made Hux wish he could suck back the words like thick smoke.

“I wouldn’t,” Ren said quietly. Hux slid a few bills out of the envelope, the smell crisp and chemically, and shoved those in his front jeans pocket. The envelope itself, he tucked into one of his inner layers. Some pocket in there. _Don’t lose it like your lighter._ He patted himself, just to make sure it was still there, and winced. The pain in his foot was getting pretty bad.

“Can we grab the train, or the subways, to get across town?” Hux asked. Ren’s expression sharpened. What was that written on his face? _Disgust?_

“You’re hurt?” _Okay, that face means telepathy apparently._ Hux shrugged instead of answering. Ren frowned. “How bad? What happened?”

“Easy now. It’s just a splinter. It’s giving me some trouble.”

“Where?”

“My foot.”

“Take off my shoes,” Ren commanded, going to kneel. Hux caught him by the shoulders, more gruff than he’d been meaning to. He yanked the kid back up to his feet. By the look on Ren’s face, he was either upset at being grabbed so harshly - _you’re so light, I didn’t mean to pull you that hard_ \- or he was mad that Hux wouldn’t let him look at his foot.

“Leave it be.”

“You’re being a piss-baby,” Ren shot at him with no small amount of venom. “It’ll be over with quick, just let me have a look.”

“It’s not about that,” Hux tsk-ed. “Do you see where you are?” Ren glanced left and right, shrugged insolently. Hux rolled his eyes. “You were going to take a knee in the street. Who knows what the fuck that puddle is over there, there could be broken glass, you’re at the very least going to stain your knees. I don’t know how much those pants cost you, but I’m not about to let you ruin them just to check my fucking splinter.”

Ren stared at him, mouth slightly agape. For a second, Hux braced himself for more laughter.  It was just, he knew how much nice things cost. Even if Ren hadn’t gotten them for himself, even if Ren had been handed them, it felt like a waste for him to ruin them just for Hux’s sake. He deserved to be laughed at, he knew that. But it didn’t come.

“I don’t know how to read you,” Ren admitted, his voice the small one he’d originally used on the intercom. “So what does that make me?”

“Just as stupid as I am, I’m pretty sure,” Hux smirked, meaning for it to come off as playful. Ren’s eyes, however, hardened.

“Oh fuck you.” Ren blinked as if he only just now he realized how he’d been looking at Hux, wiping his face into as neutral an expression as he could muster. He turned on his heel, his duffel bag bouncing with each step. “Forget I said anything.”

“Wait up,” Hux called as he stumbled to catch up. _Insensitive and too sensitive at the same time._ _Double underline!_ “I can’t walk that fast.”

“Not my fault you got hurt,” Ren called back from a few paces ahead.

“I’m warning you, Ren. Stop!” Hux shouted, scaring himself a bit at the tone. His voice was as harsh as his grip had been a moment ago. Ren responded to it, pausing like he was debating on whether or not to break into a run. In the end, he just stood there, letting Hux hobble to his side. _Fuck, it feels like my shinbone is getting pierced._

“That bad, huh?”

“No,” Hux lied. “I just can’t catch up to your long-ass legs when you walk like that.”

“I can see you grimacing.”

“Thought you said I was hard to read,” Hux said. Ren made to leave him behind again, but Hux caught his wrist and yanked him back to heel. Ren’s eyes were defiant and heavy-lidded, daring Hux to scare him. He exhaled despite himself, shaking his head at the kid before him. “You really think I’ll keep following you, if you keep running off? You’re sure I won’t leave you alone the first second I get?” Hux threatened. Ren’s lips parted, just slightly, and Hux was about to ask if he’d gone too far when he felt Ren’s hand scrape casually against his. Automatically, Hux’s fingers opened and welcomed the kid’s seeking touch. Ren turned, his stride smaller, his hand tight over Hux’s.

They walked like that for a while, no answer between them. Not that one was really needed. Hux needed the money, and Ren needed the protection. It was as simple as that. _Probably_.

By the time they got to the train station, which Ren insisted was less guarded than the subway because of its windows and aboveground lines, Hux was gritting his teeth against the pain in his foot. _Not much longer, just bear it a bit longer._

“I’ll get our tickets,” Ren said. Hux sank to the bench beside the booth, nodding, not trusting his voice at the moment. He was tempted to close his eyes, as if wincing would numb the pain in the meat of his foot, but he couldn’t allow it. He kept them trained on Ren as he bought the tickets, kept them scanning the crowds for anyone with massive hands that would be looking to crush the fragile thing he was protecting. Nobody stood out, and nobody in fact seemed to even notice them when Kylo bounced back to his side with two tickets in his hands and a lopsided grin on his face.

“It’s the late train, so we won’t have many people on with us,” Ren said, but Hux wasn’t sure if he was saying it to comfort Hux or himself.

“Thank you for buying mine,” Hux bit out.

“Are you going to let me help you to the train?”

“Your sympathy is far less appealing than your insults,” Hux lied, holding his arm up for Ren to duck underneath of in order to help Hux to his feet. Ren smirked.

“Yeah I’ll bet.” He stood, bringing Hux up with him. “God you’re heavy. For someone who’s so fucking poor, you’d think you’d weigh less.”

“There’s the Kylo I know,” Hux grunted as he stood. For a minute Ren tensed beneath him, as if struggling to support Hux’s arm over his shoulders. _So it works no matter the tone,_ he noted. _Better be extra careful_. Ren steadied himself on shaky legs, but when Hux tried to walk he snagged the back of Ren’s pants leg. He let out a frustrated grunt. “Either help me stand or get the fuck out of the way, kid, I really don’t need you taking me down with you.”

“I got you,” Ren snapped. Together like this, they made their way to the ticketmaster, who took their tickets and returned them with a hole punch in each.

“I call window seat,” Hux said, half-joking. He was getting tired. His jokes were never funny, but these were just pathetic.

“They’re both window seats,” Ren said, dragging him past coach and into first class.

“Holy shit. We get a room to ourselves?” Hux asked, a bit delirious from the shooting pain that was suddenly in his right knee instead of his foot. _Can splinters travel?_ He barked a laugh at that, because of the pun. Because they were traveling across the city. He turned to explain it to Ren, but he was staring at Hux with ill-concealed horror already. _Not the time_. Hux shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

“Yeah.” Ren continued as if they had been talking, as if Hux hadn’t just laughed at nothing in his ear. “I thought it’d be best, so we can have some privacy.”

“What’s our stop?” Hux asked while Ren helped him into the private room right by the front. _Gentle._

“The terminal one. We have about four hours on the train, should nothing go wrong.”

“You don’t think anyone saw us get on, right?” Hux asked, sitting down with a grunt and beginning to untie his right shoe before Ren could even shut and lock the door behind himself.

“Nobody that I recognize.”

“Was that monster who gutted your apartment from Black Regent?” Hux watched as Kylo’s mask fell away once again. His intensity was genuine, but so was this innocence. _I hate how frightened he looks._

“Yes. He’s what we call a Maid.”

“Seriously?”

“He goes behind the messes, cleans them up. Makes sure everything’s clean in the aftermath, and nobody’s the wiser.” Ren shivered, holding himself as he sat down opposite Hux. The cabin lights dimmed, fading to black, signaling that the train was about to leave. Outside, the district both Hux and Ren lived in - _maybe the one they used to live in_ \- flickered in blues and pinks, neons and shadows. The night life was awakening, its dull radiance muffled slightly by a growing fog. Maybe it would rain. Hux sighed. _I hate the rain but it would help our cover… it would make it harder to look for us._ Ren put his head against the window as Hux’s eyes adjusted to the cool dark. Hux thought he saw his shoulders shaking. He shrugged out of his coat, and when he tossed it unceremoniously onto Ren the kid jolted up like he’d been stabbed.

“Sorry. I guess it’s a bit heavy,” Hux allotted. Ren was either sneering or smiling, he couldn’t tell. “Put it on. It’s cold.”

“No. It smells like you.”

“You ever hear the phrase, ‘beggars can’t be choosers’?” Hux tenderly slid his swollen foot from the shoe. In the dark, he couldn’t tell if it was pus or blood that made his sock entirely wet on the bottom of the sole. “Besides, is my smell really that bad?”

“It…” Ren seemed to get flustered then, had no answer. Hux looked up in time to see Ren slip his arms through the leather and breathe in deeply. As if he felt the opposite. As if Hux’s smell was overwhelming, but not in a bad way. _Sexy_ . What? _No. Bad conscience_. Hux shook his head, having obviously lost his modicum of control over Ren’s adjective list. He should probably quit and focus on the task at hand, quietly, while Ren was distracted by his thoughts of the Maid and Black Regent, or whatever he was brooding about.

“Ah,” Hux moaned, accidentally letting loose the tiny sound as he tried desperately to peel away the sock encasing his foot in liquid. _So cold._ As the train picked up speed, a dull street lamp illuminated the cabin just enough to showcase the sheer amount of red Hux had been drained of. _Please don’t let Ren-_

“What the hell, Hux?” Ren cried, throwing his hands to his hair in a panic. Hux shrugged, glowering at the reaction that Ren had just shown, but also at thought that had just crossed his mind. _He said my name without fear_. “What did you do to yourself? Turn the cabin light on! Was all of that blood?”

“Don’t worry about it, I can take care of it. I’ll just feel for it with my fingers-” Ren blocked off his sentence by standing up to interrupt him.

“And risk getting your blood on even _more_ of my shit? Trailing droplets everywhere behind us? You really are fucking stupid,” Ren snapped. Hux made a move to get up, to protest, but he felt Ren’s hand on the base of his throat. Pressure. Ren threw him backwards against the seat, holding him there just long enough for Hux to reach up and grip his forearm in answer. _Powerful._ Ren let him go for a moment in order to lean by the door and flick the butter-yellow lamp on to its highest of three settings.

“Ugh,” Hux agreed, voicing the disgust that Ren seemed to embody as they both surveyed the scene on the floor of the train car. _Better now than at Kylo’s apartment._

“I’m going to the restroom to get napkins and water. Stay. Put.” Ren stared Hux down, daring him to say something defiant, but Hux flicked his gaze away. It was enough of a belly shown to Ren for him to take his leave, and Hux sighed when the door clicked shut in his wake. _Fuck_.

While Ren was out grabbing nursing supplies, Hux felt his hand creep up to his neck where the kid had subdued him. He was strong, volatile. Were those adjectives on the list? Hux couldn’t remember. Stubbornly, as if he would get some sick satisfaction by solving the puzzle before Ren got back, Hux used his index and middle fingers’ nails to try to sense where the glass wedge was. He knew it was close to his toes, that sensitive webbing. When his pointer finger brushed across it, though, he was unprepared for the flush of pain so severe that he saw white.

He fell back against the seat, back where Ren had slammed him seconds before. He actually would need the brat’s help. He hoped Ren was bringing him water to drink, not just water to rinse off his foot. He felt light-headed. _How late is it?_

Ren returned, his cheeks a bit flush, as if he had jogged back. He sighed deeply in front of Hux, then knelt and began cleaning.

“Can’t you clean the floor after you get this goddamn splinter out of my foot?” Hux barked, Ren’s lanky figure scrubbing at the few blood droplets Hux had spilled onto the train carpet.

“Shut up, or it will stain.”

“Fuck.”

“You should’ve told me,” Ren scolded, his voice low and husky.

“There was no time,” Hux answered. “What, I should’ve told you when the police were at your condo door, or when the maniacal cleaning service was sweeping through? I told you when I could.” Ren made a noise in the back of his throat, something tinged with disapproval, and grabbed Hux gently by the ankle.

He struggled to not cry out. His jaw hurt from how tightly he bit down, but Ren was quick and diligent with the paper towels he’d brought, soaked, from the bathroom. There were a few dry ones, but the majority were dripping wet. _Ren had to use the tap_ , Hux said, wanting to laugh but feeling too much to force it out.

Ren wiped the sides of Hux’s foot first, then gently wrung a cloth’s liquid over the toes and the ball. Hux winced, but otherwise stayed silent, trying not to distract him from his work. _Diligent_. Damn, the compliments on the mental list were getting pretty high up there. Hux would have to stop that soon. Ren turned Hux’s heel so that his foot was up towards the light, and as his blood washed away they both caught the flash of the pinprick of glass at the same time.

“This won’t feel good,” Ren said, looking up at Hux from the floor. Hux grinned despite the warning. _Things to do to Ren: make him hurt you, so he makes that face._ He put his hand on the kid’s shoulder, steeling Ren as much as himself.

“Do it anyway.”

Ren turned, not needing to be asked twice, and gently dug a fingernail underneath of the glass shard. Hux’s vision was a sparkling array of color, tunneling in from the sides. He was no stranger to pain, to be sure, but this was more than he expected from a tiny glass splinter. _Was that a train whistle, or just my brain screaming at me?_

There was an intense suction as Ren got a good grip on the splinter, pressure as he pulled without hesitation, and then a sting as it popped forth. Then, nothing. Hux glanced down, saw Kylo holding a two-inch long sliver of glass up to the light, smiling at it.

“Kind of pretty, don’t you think?” Ren smirked. “Like, if it wasn’t your blood changing its color to pink right now.” He set the glass shard down on the floor.

“Psychopath,” Hux sneered. “That hurt so fucking bad.”

“You’re welcome, now hold this in place while I get something to bandage it with,” Ren placed Hux’s hand over a paper towel he was using to staunch the blood flow. Once he was satisfied that Hux was putting enough pressure on the little pinprick of a wound, Ren shuffled on his knees to where his duffel bag lay on the floor, and he opened it to reveal a small case.

When Ren clicked the black plastic open, Hux could see some bandages, some gauze, some tape, a sewing kit, and a ton of tiny plastic bags. Ren began to clean up, placing the paper towels and the splinter into the tiny bag, then tying it up and pressing the air out to compact it gently. That action made Hux’s heart pound in his chest so loud he thought Ren would hear. _Idiot, the splinter’s still in there, be careful_ . But he kept it to himself. If Ren heard, he’d just laugh. And honestly, the sight of the preparedness Ren had gone through, the idea that he somehow _knew_ he would be shoveling bloodied paper towels into a tiny plastic garbage bag to dispose of later, in a more public place-- it was heartbreaking in one way, intimidating in another.

_Oh Ren…_

“Yes?” Ren turned to him. Hux swallowed. Had he spoken aloud?

“Nothing, just… thank you, I guess.”

“I owe you, it’s my fault you got hurt.”

“It is _not_ your fault.” The words were out before he could stop them, sounding insincere even to his own ears. _Thanks Mother Theresa, very comforting._ Ren stilled his movements, a small bandage half opened in his hands.

“Don’t lie to make me feel better,” the kid said, staring at Hux’s thighs.

“I…” _have actually been doing that a lot, haven’t I?_ “... didn’t mean to. Not really.”

“I want you to stop. Let me know how bad things are, if they’re bad.”

Hux ran a shaky hand through his hair, its tabby color muted by the amount of red in the plastic bag by Ren’s hip, whereas normally it was the brightest thing in the room.

“Okay, Ren.”

“You know this is my fault, and I’m going to fix it.”

“I know.”

“I dragged you into this.”

“Yes. But I chose to stay,” Hux said, daring him to make eye contact. Ren did so defiantly, as if he were able to tell what Hux wanted and chose only to do it out of spite.

“Why, though?” Ren twisted his mouth to the side. _He’s not about the cry again, is he?_ “Why stay?”

“I don’t know.”

Ren snorted and rolled his eyes.

Hux caught his shoulders with both hands, trying to catch his insolent stare again. When he focused back on the redhead, Hux whispered, “I don’t regret it.”

“Ha,” the laugh was humorless, dry, and Ren was a bit too rough as he pressed the bandage to the sensitive webbing. Hux recoiled in pain, dropping his arms to his side and kicking Ren’s hand away. He fought off the temptation to tap on the bandage, right where a tiny pinprick of crimson had bloomed in its center. Ren reached over his lap to turn the light back down to a lower setting, and Hux struggled to find something, anything to say.

“Such a little spot.” _Oh my god you actually are stupid._

“I suppose it’s only fair that I keep wearing your jacket for the duration of the ride,” Ren said, mercifully ignoring Hux’s ramblings and relaxing back on the floor once the cabin was plunged back into semi-darkness. “Seeing as you absolutely ruined my favorite pair of tennis shoes.”

“I tossed my _only_ pair of tennis shoes off a balcony for you,” Hux growled. Ren narrowed his eyes at him, like he was unwilling to concede but knew Hux was right. Hux flinched when a ball of cotton smacked him in the face.

“Wear both of those on that foot. Let the shoe air dry for a few hours.”

“You sure?” Hux asked, picking up the grey dress socks from where they had landed in his lap. Ren sighed, zipping up his duffel with the finality of a body bag.

“Take them.”

“Any other clothes you want to trade?” Hux joked, and Ren’s eyes flashed at him in the dark. “Okay, sorry, that came out way more inappropriate than I thought it would-”

“No, shut up,” Ren scooted forward, placing both palms flat over Hux’s knees. The action dug his bad foot into the floor, making him wince. “Sorry, sorry. But hear me out. We trade clothes, get some different hairstyles going for us, just look subtly different enough that we don’t attract attention should someone be waiting at the last stop.”

“Is there a good chance that they will?” Hux asked, the unfolded socks still clutched in his left hand. Ren blinked up at him. _He looks so small like this. You’d never guess he’s the tall one._ Hux deliberately cleared his throat, and Ren cringed like he’d been frightened out of a daydream.

“I don’t know.”

“Well… in any case, I do think it’s a good idea,” Hux dipped his knees away from the kid - _too close_ \- and put on the two layers of dress socks over his bad foot. It stung, but less so. He flexed a bit, didn’t feel blood pooling. It felt better.

“Here,” Ren was rummaging through his duffel. “Put on this hat.”

“FBI?” Hux caught the black baseball cap, reading the white lettering aloud.

“Um, yeah,” Ren evaded. Hux turned it over and read the smaller lettering along the edge. _Federal Booty Inspect_ -

“You have got to be joking.”

“”Fraid not.”

“Why do you even _have_ this hat?” Hux sputtered.

“A friend of a friend, who I would barely call an acquaintance,” Ren’s words come out fast, a bit rehearsed, “left it at my condo once. It’s the only hat I have that isn’t my style, which is why it’s the only one I brought along, and you have to wear it. We need to find a way to cover that pretty hair of yours.” _Oh._ Ren paused, his hands frozen in the air above the duffel bag, as if he had just forgotten mid-action what he was about to because he realized what he’d said.

If Ren had meant it to come off as insulting, the comment had sorely missed its mark. Hux spoke first, after a minute of trying not to smile.

“Pretty, huh?”

“I meant loud. Recognizable.” _Bad liar. He is such a bad liar._

“Yeah, maybe so. But you said pretty.”

“Put the stupid hat on or get fucked, those are your options,” Ren said, positioning himself facing the window so that he could use his reflection in its darkness as a mirror of sorts. Hux could see him roll his eyes at himself at the phrasing, could see the faint flush at the nape of his neck as he fluffed his black curls with one hand. Ren bit down on something small and black, then scooped his hands through his hair, pulling it back and away from his face. He began to braid the black tresses back in three french twists, holding each braid in place with the tiny bands he held in his teeth. When the last one was finished, he turned to face Hux. _Huh._

“Your ears are huge,” Hux said with a smile, putting the hat on and tucking his hair inside it.

“Yeah well, your hat is stupid,” Ren laughed, giggling despite himself. His laugh was infectious, and Hux gave in to it. They laughed together, their shouts echoing in the small room on a train car whipping through the city, taking the two boys towards what they hoped was their best bet for safety. They were opposites sides of the same coin, cut from the same metal, shaped in the same mint. For a minute, though, none of that extra stuff mattered. For a moment, they were just two boys being silly together in an overnight train.

When their laughter quieted, Ren began to sort through other clothing items he had in the small bag.

“Wear this jacket.”

“Your shoulders are broader than mine. It’ll be too big for me,” Hux said, drifting slightly in a drowsy haze; the shade from the brim of the cap and the feeling of having that thing out of his foot were warming him to the point of comfortable half-sleep.

“So is this leather one, but that looked good on you,” Kylo said, tossing Hux a grey zip-up hoodie. As if he were sensing his fatigue for letting such a compliment slip past, Ren went over and clicked off the light completely.

“Leather seems more your style than mine, if we’re being honest here,” Hux said. _Fuck you for looking good in my clothes_ , was what he’d wanted to say, but he didn’t have the energy. Instead, he just added, “You should keep it. Y’know, after all this. To remember me by.”

“Thanks, but I couldn’t forget you anyway,” Ren taunted. He paused, then added, “Not many people would stick around to help a scared kid figure their shit out.”

“You’d help if it were me, I bet.”

“Maybe.” Ren sounded disturbed at this thought, but Hux couldn’t figure out why. It was so hard, staying awake. The rocking of the train car, the low lullaby of Ren’s voice, the warmth of the gray hoodie he’d been thrown.

“I keep forgetting you’re fifteen,” Hux admitted. “You handle yourself so much better than I did at fifteen.”

“Three years must feel like forever to an old man, eh?”

“Feels like it sometimes,” Hux whispered, ignoring the jab and settling into the seat cushions with the FBI hat crooked over his eyes. It was easy to share like this in the dark. Like a sleepover, like something normal teenagers got to do.

“Hux?”

“Mmm?”

“What made you run away?” Ren asked, and Hux felt his core grow cold. He wanted to tell him. _This is the time_ . _Say something_. The kid’s earnest tone, the dark of the cabin, there would have been no better moment-- and if he had had the energy, Hux would’ve told him everything. But no words came, except one he couldn’t voice.

_Dangerous_. It popped up, going on the list of adjectives he was accumulating for the kid. Hux really hoped that it was somewhere near the bottom, somewhere he could ignore it.

Eventually, the silence of Ren waiting to hear Hux speak grew oppressive, and he forced out what he could, even though he knew how unsatisfying it was.

“I’ll tell you later, Kylo.” This time Hux reacts to his first name floating in the air between them, but Ren doesn’t seem to. It catches in his chest, makes him wish he’d kept the silence instead. He feels too awake to lie should Ren try to press the issue.

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” _Not even a second’s hesitation. Shameful._

An inadvertent sigh from the other side of the booth signals that Ren’s heard him and accepted this, even though Hux’s voice felt too quiet over the hushed clacking of the train. There was soft rustle of cloth as Ren repositioned himself to lie down across the seats, his duffel bag dragged off the floor to be his pillow, and then nothing more. Hux couldn’t see well, but he guessed that even with two full seats to himself, Ren had to tuck his knees up to fit. Hux liked the idea of Ren curled up in his big leather jacket, even if he couldn’t see it. Inexplicably, because Ren most likely already was, Hux murmured, “You should go to sleep.”

“You’re the tired one, old man,” Ren mumbled back. It was half-hearted, Ren’s voice gravelly from sleep, and for some strange reason it clawed at Hux’s chest. The silence leftover made Hux want to sit up, as if he were trapped in a dream and turning on the light was his only escape. Before he could reach for the light, Ren’s breathing deepened into soft, fluttering snores as he drifted off in his corner, snug in Hux’s leather. Hux wished he could follow, wished more than anything that he didn’t feel so alone with this kid so close by, within arm’s reach; sleep evaded him for the better part of the train ride.

After almost an hour of restless tossing and turning, Hux finally found his peace curled up against the back of the seat with his chin buried deep in Ren’s sweatshirt, telling himself it was just against the chill of the air conditioner. Even in his half-asleep state, he didn’t believe himself for a second.


	4. Chapter 4

It was about two in the morning when the cabin lights came on automatically above them, signaling that it was time to get up and moving. Hux groaned under Ren’s hoodie, a blob of grey that didn’t want to move. _Five more minutes._

“Come on, we have to be first off this train,” Ren whispered. He was right by Hux’s shoulder, kneeling, and Hux’s eyes snapped open. He glanced around, aware of where he was. He nodded, the same static feeling in the air that had been there when he’d hidden with Ren in the wardrobe.

“Is it a Maid?”

“Probably. I feel it in the air,” Ren held his hand palm up, flickering his fingers back and forth as Hux scrambled to put his hat back on and tuck his red hair away. “Like when your leg falls asleep.”

“I feel it like a summer storm,” Hux said, pulling on his right shoe, the pain minor and bearable, the blood inside crusted and dried. “Like when you can hear the crackle of lightning in your skin almost.”

“It’s their weapon that does it. They all carry the same one. At least it makes them easier to track,” Ren breathed. Hux steadied himself on Ren’s shoulder, and they stood together. The train was whistling, signaling that it was close. When Hux turned, he saw Ren’s eyes narrowed. He was thinking. “We’ll go to the door, then just as it opens we’ll go right.”

“Why right?”

“I just saw the Maid,” Hux felt fear grip him underneath of his ribs as Ren spoke, the kid’s breath barely audible as the train whistled again. “He’s waiting on the left. It’s raining, so if we can get inside on the right side, trick him into following, we can glance off to the left past where he was, and then get outside to hail a cab. He won’t be able to follow. They’re strong, powerful, but not observant. We’ll be golden.”

“Lead the way,” Hux whispered. Neither of them flinched as their hands locked together, and they were almost calm as they left the cabin. The creamy yellow light of the bulbs they’d had on last night were soft in comparison to the grating white light of the overhead lamps lining the ceiling of the train car. The door was just up ahead. Ren pulled Hux forward, keeping his strides smaller than he’d probably like. _He’s thinking of your foot._ Hux grit his teeth and kept the pace, even though he wished they could break into a run.

They passed by a seat whose owner had left in a hurry, a crumple newspaper page and empty plastic bottle left in the wake of a hasty train exit. Ren paused, causing Hux to bump into him from behind, and reached down to grab the umbrella the person had also left under the seat. He looked up at Hux with wild eyes. _More cover_ , Hux felt Ren saying, even though nothing had passed his lips. He nodded weakly, wishing this were already over.

Back before Hux had run away, of course he’d gone to school. He had been in P.E. classes, training to get better marks on a physical fitness test, and that had been the last time he’d felt this specific sensation. It wasn’t nerves, exactly. He knew he could accomplish the task at hand, that didn’t bother him at all. It was sick anticipation, so strong was the desire to prove what he could do and just get it done that he often made himself throw up before each physical fitness test to ease the pain. Now, he had no luxury of running to the restroom. Instead, he clutched Ren’s free hand harder, digging his fingernails into the kid’s knuckles until Ren matched his grip and hurt him back. _Focus on the pain._ Hux couldn’t tell if he thought that in his own voice, or Ren’s.

Luckily enough, there were a handful of people, all relatively Kylo’s height, already waiting in the cabin by the exit when they arrived in coach. Hux exhaled a breath he didn’t remember taking in and holding. This was good. A small blessing. They would be able to blend, with the umbrellas and the people surrounding them. Ren’s hands continued to dig into his painfully. He relished it. _It’ll be over soon._ He wasn’t sure what he meant by that. The chase? Or the time he was spending with the kid?

“So remind me again, Gregory,” Ren’s deep timbre, quiet but purposeful, broke the waiting silence. “Which hotel do we check into?”

“The Palais Royan,” Hux automatically said back, thinking of the only hotel he knew on this side of the city. He flushed automatically at Ren’s appreciative lip bite. _Oh. Don’t do that._

“You sure you can afford it?”

“You deserve the best,” Hux responded, raising an eyebrow. _More like expect the best. Brat._ The other passengers around them stared at their feet; either they were not interested in whatever two kids were doing with their free time on a weekend, or they were trying not to look envious that the kids would be spending their time in the most expensive hotel in Saluta. Ren’s hand relaxed slightly in his, and Hux felt tension in his arm and shoulder melting away. If people remembered them now, they would remember them going in the wrong direction with a different name. Ren’s bar wasn’t out that way, Hux could tell. It was a bit on-the-nose as far as distractions went, but a good tactic nonetheless.

The doors opened, the automated female voice chiming out to watch their step jolted everyone into movement like clockwork, and the white noise of the rain replaced the white noise of the tracks they’d fallen asleep to.

Hux felt the push of air as Kylo opened the umbrella, then felt the push of rain and fog surrounding them like he had plunged headfirst into a swimming pool. He wondered, absently, if Ren could’ve predicted the rain. Hux bet his hair curled fiercely in the humidity. Had he felt it somehow, in his young bones, and braided his hair to hide that black halo of his? _Beautiful_ . Hux shook his head. He’d put that on the list so long ago - _not even a day ago_ \- that it wasn’t worth repeating.

They were walking briskly, the same pace as the other passengers, and Ren pushed his lanky legs out further. Hux knew he’d glance to the left when they got inside, and he took the umbrella from the kid to shake it out as they turned in synchronized step and walked towards the restrooms . There were vending machines further down the hallway, and they aimed for their colorful lights, as if they were just going to grab a snack for the ride home. They both walked with a purpose, but did not run. At the last moment, instead of stopping by the vending machines, the two of them cut down a corridor on the right, one that looked like it led to a maintenance room.

Hux fumbled only once, closing the umbrella so that it wouldn’t catch on anything, and for the rest of their stroll he watched as Ren seemingly sensed which direction to take next to lead them outside. _Is this his first time at this station? Can’t be._ He turned left, then immediately left again, past two janitor’s closets and a boiler room into a hall that led to an emergency exit. Deftly, Ren reached up - _so tall_ \- and unplugged the exit sign. No alarm sounded when they used it to leave and get back out in the rain, and they were effectively on the opposite side of the train station now. Hux swallowed, a bit dizzied by the act, as if they had been teleported here.

“Taxi!” Ren stepped in the street, flagging one down. The air didn’t buzz with electricity now, did that mean the Maid was gone? “Take us to Montgomery and Twentieth,” Ren ordered, pulling Hux into the cab. Had the the umbrella not caught on the seat as they got in, Hux would’ve landed in Ren’s lap. Hux grabbed the door awkwardly with his hand still closed over the umbrella, then slammed it behind himself; Ren put up the divider in the cab to cancel out some of their talking. Finally, they were kind of safe.

“You okay?” Hux asked.

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.” He laughed, the nervous reaction bubbling up before he could stop it. In answer, his stomach gave a low growl.

“Are you always hungry?”

“Pretty much.”

“We’ll grab something at Rouge Heaven.”

“Is that the club?”

“Yep. Told you that you were close with the name.”

“What’s it like?” Hux asked, shaking the umbrella out a bit to the side, splashing the stray drops onto the plastic mud protector the floor of the cab was lined with. Ren hesitated.

“It’s kind of… under renovations at the moment.” He looked a bit uncomfortable, glanced away when Hux’s eyes darted to find his.

“Is it not safe to go there?” Hux asked, his voice low and sharp. He felt cold apprehension, and it took effort not to squeeze Ren’s hand hard to the point of pain. He didn’t want to mistrust the kid, but there was that word from last night - _the one at the bottom of the list_ \- threatening to well up at the forefront of his mind again. “Answer me.”

“It’s safe it’s just…” Ren mumbled something against his palm, looking out the window at the city during last call, the taxis and designated drivers picking everyone up from their various celebrations and regrets.

“I didn’t catch that.”

Another mumble, slightly louder.

“What was that thing you called me, when I didn’t want you looking at my splinter?” Hux asked. _As if you could forget._

“Piss-baby.”

“Yeah, that. You’re being that.” Ren turned, annoyance making his lip curl, but then he caught Hux’s smirk. It seemed to disarm him completely, and the kid deflated against the seat like he’d been holding his breath too.

“It’s a gay club.”

“Seriously?” Hux asked. He’d never been brave enough to go to one alone, always wondered what the atmosphere in one would be like. He paused, thinking as to why Ren didn’t want to say that aloud. “Oh. Is that why you said it would suit me, before?”

“No, it would suit you because it’s a dump,” Ren said, his voice a sharp singsong. Hux squinted, a rare glimpse of clarity into the fog that was Kylo Ren revealing itself to him.

“Does it embarrass you? That it’s a gay bar?”

“No, I’ve been there alone before, it’s not that--” Ren fumbled, looking out the window again. “I didn’t want you to feel like I was bringing you there like--” he swallowed, scoffed as if the conversation was beneath him, and made a frustrated noise as he slammed his head backwards into the seat cushion with gritted teeth. Hux felt like laughing, almost.

“Oh my god, you’re embarrassed to be bringing a guy with you, aren’t you?”

“Shut your mouth!”

“Ren, look! We’ve been holding hands every opportunity we get! Look!” Hux lifted their hands, shaking them a bit. Ren spitefully tried to pry his fingers away, but Hux held fast, not allowing it. “I’m not embarrassed by this kind of stuff,” he continued, wishing Ren would look at him. The kid faced stoically forward, and for a second Hux was painfully aware that Ren’s free hand was clenched into a fist. _He choked you with that hand_. Hux swallowed back apprehension, and asked shakily, “Do you want me to stop holding your hand?”

Silence.

“Is that a yes, or a no?”

Silence. But Ren’s fingers weren’t struggling to get loose anymore. They were simply existing between Hux’s. He frowned, annoyed at the silent treatment, searching for something to snap him out of it and get him to talk to him again. _Brat._

“I’m doing it as much for me as I am for you, y’know.”

A flick of a gaze. Disbelief. Suspicion. This kid was a puzzle box and Hux had always been pretty good at those. But still, he sat there, unsure of how to turn Ren so that all of the colors aligned properly. He was so close, he felt so close, but then one wrong move and he jumbled the kid back up again. _Clumsy Hux, you have to be more careful_.

“I didn’t want you to feel like I’d tricked you, that’s all,” Ren said, his voice dry and brittle.

“Tricked me?”

“Into going to a place like that… with me.” Ren paused. “Against your will.”

“You couldn’t trick me if you tried,” Hux whispered, not believing himself for a second. Ren glanced over, scoffed.

“I told you not to lie to me anymore.” His voice was quiet, more in control than it had been a second ago, and Hux watched his free hand unclench and swipe down his grey slacks as if to further relax himself. The duffel bag was between them in the seat, their hands resting interlocked on top of it, as if on a makeshift pedestal.

“How long til we get there?” Hux asked, just to have something to say.

“About fifteen minutes,” Ren said, consulting his watch with a glance. Hux settled into the seat.

“Enough time for a bit of conversation eh?”

Silence.

“You sure you don’t want to chat? No questions for me?”

Silence.

“How long do you plan on ignoring me, Kylo?” he prodded. The kid stiffened as if he’d been pocked in the ribs with an icicle and whirled on Hux with such fury in his eyes that Hux shrank back against the seat.

“I know. Why don’t we turn this around towards you for once. Tell me: what’s your first name?” His voice was calm, deep, and persuasive. Hux shuddered.

“Hux.”

“Your name is Hux Hux?”

“No, that’s just my first name I chose for myself.”

“So what about your last name, then.”

“Don’t have one.”

“That’s not fair.” Ren threw himself back dramatically against the seat once more, making Hux worry he was about to crack the back of his head against the windowpane for a second. Ren brought his free hand up to his braids, forgetting that he couldn’t run his fingers through his curls. He slapped it down on his thigh harshly, as if to illustrate his point. _Dramaqueen_ , Hux thought, twisting his lips.

“What isn’t fair?” he asked, indulging him in his hissy-fit.

“You getting to call me by my either of my two names whenever you feel like it, catching me off guard, while I’m here and I have _nothing_ on you,” Ren frowned, his brow knit together and his voice petulant.

“Well technically I know three of yours, not two.” Hux wished he’d kept quiet. He wished he’d never said anything. Ren’s eyes snapped up to his, wide and violent.

“Three?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t have three names.”

“I mean, not now, no. But I overheard, when the … thing was at your place. He said your other name.”

“Oh did he now?”

It was a warning, one that Hux didn’t heed. He was too distracted by the way Ren’s neck was pulsing with angry energy, by the way his eyes had glazed over with a kind of intensity unrivaled by the fear or anger he’d previously shown.

“Yeah. He called you Be-”

The rest of Kylo Ren’s real name was muffled by a moan as he pressed his lips to Hux’s mouth. Ren’s hand had tipped back the brim of Hux’s stupid FBI hat with a quick flick of his index finger, giving him just enough space to crowd in and cover all noises Hux might make from here on out. Somehow, in a millisecond, the hand that he tipped back his cap was at his throat now: it was a reminder that Ren wanted Hux to shut up, and Ren’s thumb pressed down on his jugular until his vision went sparkly at the edges. It was a punishment. It was a dare for him to keep talking. It was cruel. Hux could feel the kid’s teeth cut against his lower lip, so hard was he pressing his face into Hux’s.

Automatically, even though he knew the kiss was only meant to shut him up, Hux relaxed. _More._ He exhaled a second tiny moan - _on purpose this time_ \- and went limp under his strong fingers. Ren paused, lifting his onslaught just enough for Hux to kiss him back.

The air surrounding them seemed to change, as if muffling them and shielding them from any onlookers. The world fell away. They could no longer hear the far-off splash of the windshield wipers, or the spray of puddles driven through as they were kicked up by the cab tires. The only sounds were small ones between them.

Ren’s mouth slackened, surprise forcing his hand to loosen at Hux’s throat. _It was a punishment, but now…_ The tip of Ren’s tongue went to where he’d bitten him, as if he were trying to apologize. Hux told himself to pull back, to stop before it went further-

_I can’t._

Hux gasped in air around Ren’s lips and dropped the umbrella he was still clutching, its metal and fabric bouncing somewhere under the front passenger seat. Hux reached up with his free hand to drag his thumb across the kid’s jawline as he brushed light caresses over Ren’s lips with his own. Ren’s mouth felt completely different now that the anger had drained away; now the kid was tentative, shy. _Endearing. Sweet. So sweet._ He kissed Hux back in reactionary movements, tiny ones, copying only what Hux first did to him, as if he were totally unaware of how to proceed but responding by default. _As if it’s his first kiss_ . Hux wanted to laugh, but couldn’t muster up the will. The thought of being Kylo’s first anything was too tremendous. _Hold it together._ He was making mental notes on his Ren lists, attempting to use it as a distraction to keep from deepening the kiss any further. He didn’t want to get carried away. _No more than we already have._

He pulled his thumb down to Ren’s chin, and squeezed the hand that was still interlocked with Ren’s to try to reassure him. With one delicate press on the kid’s chin, Hux opened Ren’s lips ever so slightly, allowing him a moment of access for their tongues to flit across one another. Ren’s gasp burned like warm whiskey down the center of his chest and into his core. _Good kisser,_ on the list, very high; _responsive_ , also high; _intoxicating_ … the top one at the moment, the one he had to be careful with. He didn’t want to scare him. He wasn’t older by much, but Hux was very aware of their age difference, very aware of how Ren was molding himself to Hux’s subtle directions. He didn’t want Ren to feel like he was being used. _He wouldn’t like that, thinking that he wasn’t in control._

Hux deepend the kiss ever so slightly, slowly enough that Ren could stop if he wanted. The kid sighed, a pleasurable sound, and moved in further. Without prompting from Hux’s thumb this time, he opened his mouth to bring him deeper. Hux suppressed a moan, moving his free hand to Ren’s shoulder, gripping his leather on the kid’s arm, pulling Ren towards him on the duffel bag so that their chests were touching. Their hips were mercifully separated by the emergency clothes bag between them, and Hux squashed the idea of throwing it to the floor and pulling Ren fully into his lap. _That’s not safe. Be rational._

Ren’s hand had fallen from Hux’s throat completely, drifted to his collarbone, and it was pinned there now as Hux held him tight in the back of the cab. His mouth was still seeking, still looking to share some of the answers neither would give willingly to the other.

Ren let out a small moan, a fluttering, accidental noise that reminded Hux of the way he breathed in his sleep. _Things to do to Ren: kiss him, often._

“Wait,” a small plea, as if he had heard Hux’s thoughts as Hux contemplated throwing the duffel bag to the floor and yanking Ren onto him fully. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong?” Hux asked, their lips barely a few centimeters apart. He hadn’t meant for his voice to sound so rough, so denied.

“We’re kissing,” Kylo whispered, his lower lip trembling.

“You started it,” Hux smiled, moving back in to continue where they left off. As if he were coming out of hypnosis and suddenly remembered where he was, Ren pulled back. He cleared his throat, struggled to extricate himself from Hux’s arms, and even dropped Hux’s hand. _How long had I been holding him so close?_ Hux flexed the hand Ren had held since the train station. It was cold without Ren’s fingers.

“Don’t ever say that name again,” Ren whispered, his lips slightly swollen from their harsh connection with Hux’s own. One of his braids was loose, just begging to be completely undone. His eyes were bright, frightened, with the trace of rage behind them that Hux was quickly becoming fond of. He would never tell a soul, he realized. The name Benjamin would die with him if need be.

“Alright.” Ren relaxed visibly, and Hux leaned back into the corner of the cab by the door, streatching his arm up to lay it on the back of the seat between them. He struggled to find the balance between inviting Ren back to him, and giving the kid enough space to breathe. Hux chuckled to himself at the danger they were putting each other in, and Ren’s eyes flashed over to him as if asking what was so funny. “Can I still call you Kylo?”

“Mmm.” It was either a grunt of approval or restraint, but Hux couldn’t read his expression easily enough to tell. The kid turned to the window, away from him, and crossed his arms over his chest. Hux adjusted his cap again, bringing the brim down over his eyes, hoping that Ren couldn’t see him casually memorizing the curve of the kid’s shoulders, the angle he held his legs at in the car, or the way his hair was glinting with raindrops trapped like stars. _He’ll keep the jacket_ , Hux realized. It was a harsh thought, that Ren would have something to remember him by, and Hux would only have the ghost of a punishing kiss.

When they got out of the cab, Ren paid the driver and said something under his breath, a hushed whisper that sounded like an order. The driver nodded, and Hux wondered abruptly if taxis were something that syndicates had control over. It seemed minor. But in situations like this, maybe they were necessary, advantageous even? He couldn’t be sure. He’d never been one to wonder over such insignificant things as all that.

“Why are you standing in the rain like an idiot?” Ren asked, reaching up to cover his hair with both arms in the rain. Hux scowled. _I forgot about the umbrella-- you distracted me_. He popped open the umbrella with a quick swish and turned heel even though he didn’t know where he was going. Let the kid follow him for once.

Ren caught him and locked his arm through Hux’s, guiding him without words to an alleyway of unlit neon signs. The city, built upward into the sky, was lined with wire and light, and this sector especially was known for its dancing and drinking. Hux had never really ventured out here but once, felt it wasn’t really his style, and had certainly never been brave enough to crawl down this particular back alley. But in the peak hours of the night, Hux had a hunch that this alleyway was a jewel of radiant splendor. It was probably a gorgeous amalgamation of voices, music, car horns, and whispered nothings. For now, however, it just looked abandoned.

“Here,” Ren turned to the left, leading them past a couple of bars with names like LeCircle and Fondant. _Luxurious names, but what about the insides?_ The alleyway became smaller, only room for one car to pass now, more intimate in a lot of ways. Ren clung to Hux’s arm, his hands digging in much like Hux’s had before they got off the train. Hux lifted his other hand to clasp around Ren’s fingers as they walked, slowly digging his nails into the kid’s knuckles to let him know he was there. _Focus on the pain._

They walked up to the door with their steps in sync, fatigue and nerves from the past day causing them both to shiver in the light deluge of rain. Hux was sure that Ren would hesitate once they reached the door, that he would would catch his hand right as it went to knock and look at Hux with that pitiful face, ask Hux to just take him away from the city. _I’d do it, too, and never let you hear the end of it_.

But Ren straightened his shoulders at the door to the Rouge Heaven club and clicked a buzzer to the side with conviction, no trace of hesitation in his steady hand. His face a mask of neutral annoyance, as if being made to wait in the rain was beneath him, he buzzed a second time. Hux had to drag his eyes away from him to examine where they were.

Before them was a gigantic double door, plush plastic that held the semblance of leather. _Was Ren being sarcastic before? About it suiting me_? The buzzer clicked on, feedback crackling through the air as a raindrop plunked down and hit Hux right on the back of his neck. His shirt collar was pulled back just enough for the droplet to roll down his back, making him shudder hard as it traveled between his shoulder blades.

“Yes?” A woman’s voice. Harsh. Clipped.

“Phoebe?” Ren called out, holding the button down. “It’s Kylo.”

“I don’t know any Kyles,” the intercom snapped as Ren let his finger off. He rolled his eyes, looking at Hux as he sighed deeply.

“No. Kyl-O. Kylo Ren.” He let go of the button, then stood there in the rain waiting for the person named Phoebe on the other end of the mess of wires to react to this news. Hux cleared his throat, praying that this safe house actually would be safe.

“Kylo?” The pop of static behind her voice sounded like a sob. “It’s really you?”

“Yes.”

“Are you… did you come alone?”

“No, I brought my…” Ren hesitated, the possessive pronoun already out there. He looked over at Hux, a dangerous smile on his lips. _You asshole, if you say ‘servant’ I am going to beat you over the head with this umbrella._

“Boyfriend,” Hux interrupted quickly, and Ren’s reaction was priceless. He blanched completely, took his finger off the button, and began to whisper in hushed shouts. Hux swore he saw the kid’s arm fly up like he wanted to slam him into the red doors and choke him out right there, but he restrained himself, much to Hux’s amusement.

“What the fuck-

“-it’ll be easier to explain-”

“-do you think you’re-”

“-fuck off, it’s no big deal-”

“-you’re not listening-”

“-it’s already done, suck it up-”

After about thirty seconds of muffled arguing and some rather obscene hand gestures were out of their systems, Ren pressed the button again. “Phoebe?” he called. “Can you let me and … my boyfriend,” said through clenched teeth, “in? It’s raining.”

Instead of an answer, the door swung open. A tall, broad shouldered woman, only a few years older than Hux himself, stood staring them down.

“What’s your name?” she asked, barely taking in Ren with a glance.

“Hux.”

“Hux what?”

“Just Hux,” he answered, daring her to argue. He stood straight, wishing like hell that he didn’t have the stupid FBI hat on. He bet it canceled out any forced toughness his rigid posture gave to his demeanor. _When you get inside, burn it_.

“Alright, _just_ Hux,” the woman named Phoebe sighed. “Get in here. You’ll catch your death out there.”

“It’s the middle of summer-”

“Catch your death,” Phoebe insisted, ushering them inside and closing the door behind them. She latched it with a deadbolt, a padlock, and a key, much like Ren had attempted to do yesterday against the Maid. _Was it only yesterday_?

Before Hux could react, Ren had thrown down his duffel bag and was hugging Phoebe. She made a noise that sounded like tears, Hux’s signal to leave.

Hux pretended to ignore their reunion, and busied himself with observing the Rouge Heaven club instead. It had a dance floor straight ahead that took up about half of the entire space within, very large and comprised of what looked like black rubber geometric shapes interlocked together like a puzzle. There was a disco ball tucked away within the lights set above it, as well as colored lamps and a spotlight. The DJ booth looked classy, offset in a hexagonal podium with columns leading up to it in an unobtrusive corner of the dance floor, as if it were cut out of honeycomb and shaped from the dance floor itself. The entire color palette of the place was red and black.

Hux felt a ludicrous surge of pride when he remembered that Ren said it would suit him. He liked that this is what Ren thought of him. The angles, the colors, the lush curtains hanging on walls to create the illusion of more space, the offset booths complete with rounded couches and mirrors set in black frames… it was all very much according to his taste. If he had the money, he would live like this, decked out in crimson and ebony, plush fabrics and glittering metals lining his clothes. The thought sent a frisson through him, and Hux shivered in pleasure.

He turned to the bar area while Ren explained their predicament in hushed tones, Phoebe offering words of advice here and there. Hux felt odd eavesdropping. He walked over to where four small round tables, tall enough to stand at or sit on stools at, surrounded a half-moon of a bar. Behind the bar were arrangements of glass bottles, beautifully stacked like potions in an alchemist’s chamber. The mirror behind the shelving gave off the illusion that there were many, drink your fill because there will always be more. Hux bit his lip, appreciating the subtle effect it had on also largening the square room and transforming the space into one of soft corners. He assumed that hidden back in the semi-circle of a room behind the bar, there was inventory and supplies. He glanced to the right, past the tables, further back into the club. There was a stage, unlit. There was literally no misuse of space, no poor planning that he could see. It was gorgeous. _And Ren thinks it suits you._

“Kylo,” he called, realizing he interrupted an important part of the conversation when both Phoebe and Ren turned to him with narrowed eyes. He smirked. _Good. Let her hear too._ “You were right. I love this place.”

It had the intended reaction. Ren blushed, his cheekbones highlighted pink with heat. His eyes narrowed with focused frustration, and Hux was glad they weren’t close to one another. Ren’s eyes held the promise of pain. _Things to do to Ren: embarrass him, so that he looks at you like that._

Hux couldn’t tell if Ren was embarrassed because it was actually the opposite of a dump, and so he had been caught in a lie-- or if he was embarrassed because Hux had figured out why Ren had insisted Hux would fit right in. _Maybe he has an adjective list of his own_. The thought sent another ripple of pleasure through Hux, and this one was so strong that he had to wander around in search of a restroom so that he could splash cold water on his face.

When he came back, Phoebe was pouring Ren some water from a crystal decanter _-fucking prince spoiled brat-_ and sighing deeply.

“What’s wrong?” Hux asked, coming up to sit beside Ren at the bar. Phoebe looked to Ren, as if asking permission. The kid nodded.

“I’m glad you came here first, and Ren is safe while he’s with me. But I have to tell you… Rouge Heaven is under Black Regent protection. It has been for the past year.” Hux felt his mouth drop open. “Please don’t look like that.”

“Like what?” Hux choked out.

“Like you’ve just tasted the ass end of a lemon,” Phoebe snapped. “Now, I won’t rat you out. I would never do that to Ren- or to anyone close to him,” Phoebe said quickly, as if she could sense the fear spooling in Hux’s belly and knew she needed to amend. “But I can’t let you stay. I can’t deny anyone from Black Regent entry here, so every minute here is a minute closer to you being found.”

“We’ll stay the night,” Ren said, sipping his water gingerly. “And then leave with the daylight.”

“Where will we go?” Hux asked, ignoring the way Phoebe’s eyebrows quirked when Ren said the word _we_. “Out of Saluta?”

“Probably,” Ren looked up. “I haven’t figured it out yet.” _Oh my god, he’s terrified_. His eyes were glimmering again, the only thing keeping the tears from falling seemed to be his long black eyelashes and sheer stubbornness. He looked at Hux, daring him to say something. Instead, Hux grabbed Ren’s hand and locked their fingers together. Ren gave a little laugh, as if he were surprised, and set his water glass down to swipe away the stray tears that had escaped.

“Can we sleep here for a few hours?” Hux asked, feeling desolate and focused at the same time. It was so tiring having conflicting emotions. _Wonder if this is how Ren feels, like, constantly._

“There’s a spare room upstairs,” Phoebe said, corking the decanter with its glass stopper, her asymmetrical bob sending blonde curls tumbling out from behind her left ear at the stiff movement. She stooped under the bar to put the - _presumably filtered_ \- water away.

Hux sighed, steeling himself.

“So, is sleep all you need?” Phoebe asked, directing the question to Ren. Hux’s stomach growled again, louder than it had on the train. Both Phoebe and Ren turned to him, one wearing a look of amusement and the other looking completely disgusted, as if he could miraculously hold control over an involuntary muscle in his body.

Hux cleared his throat, refusing to blush. “Is there any chance that you might have a little bit of extra-”

“Yes. Probably. I’ll go see what we have in the fridge,” Phoebe said curtly. She was just as hard to read as Ren was, but less volatile, more kind. Maybe it came with age, but Hux felt like mercuriality was just Ren’s state of being. He would learn to control it, maybe, but would never outgrow it. _I hope._ Phoebe left to go to the back where there was an adjoining door that led to what Hux presumed was an attached apartment above the club itself. He wondered if he was an imposition, if this was a good idea.

Phoebe turned to them both, as if taking a picture to store in her memory for later, and her smile clued Hux in. She was happy to help, didn’t mind at all, and was equally as terrified: but they had no choice, and she would be damned if they left here hungry or tired.


	5. Chapter 5

After a quick microwaved meal of simple macaroni and cheese casserole, of which Hux had double servings, Ren went to shower while Hux and Phoebe readied the room.

“So, you knew Ren from before, eh?” Hux ventured as Phoebe stacked duvets and sheets into his outstretched arms. They were on the landing in the apartment above the club, which was two floors high and actually incredibly nice, if you didn’t think about the nightlife alley it was located in. The floors were dark hardwood, and the walls were painted a soft velvety charcoal. The effect was classy and understated. Phoebe favored silver and grey, and her decor reflected this-- as did the pillowcase she threw in Hux’s face.

“I did.”

“And?”

“And nothing. You’d do better not to pry.”

“I’m not prying,” Hux said, indignant.  _ You’re not letting me. _ “I’m just making conversation.”

“The kid had a rough time, I helped him out a few years back, and…” her words trailed off, as if she were reliving a particularly tough memory. She sighed, regaining herself, and covered Hux’s face with a large blanket. He growled. “And this is the first time I’ve seen him since.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, the words out before he knew what they meant.

“Me too,” Phoebe replied. “It would’ve been nice to have time to catch up, or something.” Hux shook his head free of the blanket, balancing all of the covers in his overburdened arms as he followed Phoebe into the guest room.

“You get the floor,” she said, throwing a sleeping bag to the dark hardwood and unrolling it without waiting for an answer.  _ Of course the brat would get the bed to himself. _ Hux couldn’t even pretend to be mad in his own mind: the sleeping bag looked comfortable enough on its own, especially when compared to the train seat from earlier. “Use as many pillows and blankets as you like. I keep it cold.”

“I would too, if I had AC.”

“I’ll be up doing inventory for a while yet, so I’ll be awake when you two head off. Feel free to help yourself to anything you need in the meantime.”

Hux wanted to thank her, but she stormed out of the room with a civil nod, not giving him the chance. Her red jacket swirled behind her, almost catching in the door as she closed it just a tad to give Hux some semblance of privacy.

He fumbled around for a bit, unsure of what to do first. He would have been fine with just the sleeping bag, but Phoebe had given him all of these blankets, as if he were expected to nest for the night. After he layered a couple of blankets on top of his sleeping bag, effectively creating a makeshift mattress for himself, he struggled to figure out what to do with Ren’s bed.  _ What would he like? _ Sheets tucked in? But he’s so tall, would he hate how constrictive that would be for his feet?

Down the hall, Hux heard the shower faucet squeak as it turned off, caught the rush of a shower curtain pushed aside on its rings. He only had a few minutes.  _ Fuck it, he can be the princess and the pea if he wants but I’m just going to make it like I do mine. _

Hux layered the sheets, untucked, neatly over the twin bed. He fluffed the two pillows into a kind of arrowhead formation and then laid two duvet covers on top of the sheets. He turned them down, keeping the angles of the sheets as crisp as he could. He looked it over, glanced around the room at its sparse kitten decorations. He never would’ve pegged Phoebe as a cat person, but she seemed super fond of tabbies. A calendar hanging on the wall across from him, just above the twin bed, was full of them playing with little balls of yarn.  _ I wonder if I’ll get to sleep first tonight _ .

“You made the bed?” Ren asked, brushing past Hux and startling him out of his apparent daydream. Hair still damp but unbraided, Ren smelled like rich violets and honey. His skin glistened, because of course he wouldn’t dry off completely before tracking moisture into the bedroom. Hux tried to be annoyed with him instead of focused on Ren’s bare chest.

“Yeah. All yours.”

“You’re…” Ren looked at the floor by his feet, as if not understanding why there was a sleeping space laid out besides the bed. Hux raised an eyebrow, but Ren ignored him. He cleared his throat, moving towards the corner of the room with a floor length mirror by the closet. He’d tossed the duffel bag there before going off to shower. Hux turned away out of decency.  _ Control yourself _ .

“So Phoebe told me she would wake us in a couple of hours, give us time to get a proper sleep cycle in,” Hux said, not caring if he rambled, just needing some kind of distraction from the heavy sound of a towel hitting the floor. He scratched at the nape of his neck, then moved his hands to finger the spines of a few of the books in front of his face.  _ Krav Maga for Dummies _ . Jesus.  _ Reminder: Phoebe can probably kick your ass. _ He took his hands away and held them at his sides. “I figure after breakfast we can grab you some coffee and head out towards the outskirts of the city. I know a few people, they might be able to get us a ride further out.”

“You know, the coffee at your diner wasn’t all that bad,” Ren said, his voice slightly muffled by the tshirt he must have been pulling down over his head.

“I worked there,” he said, not sure why it mattered. “Just… thought you should know that about me.”

Ren’s movements slowed, as if he were absorbing this and adding it to the mental schema he’d constructed of Hux, and then he heard the kid zip up the black duffel bag with a flourish. It was like he was signaling Hux it was okay to look now.

“Will you miss it?” he asked, his voice drowned out now by something larger and fluffier than a tshirt. Hux chances a glance back, saw him in boxers and a plain black tshirt, bent over and toweling his hair dry. Hux turned back to face the bookshelf, pretended he had found something interesting there.  _ Oh wow look some dust how fascinating _ -

Ren gave a little laugh, and Hux was scared - _ not for the first time- _ that he really could read minds.

“I’ll miss the diner, yeah,” he said out loud. “But it paid like shit. It wasn’t enough money to live off of. I won’t miss that.”

“That’s why you answered my ad without even thinking.”

“Yeah,” Hux sighed deeply.  _ All this over some ‘trash’. _

“You’ve got me now,” Ren sneered, again with derision just like when it had come up before. “I’ve got you covered.”

“Is it your money?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why do you talk about it like you hate it?” Hux asked, turning around to sit down on his sleeping bag facing the kid. Ren paused, standing straight now in order to scrunch his curls in his hand through the towel. He looked off to his left, his mouth a hard straight line.

“I did stuff to get it that I’m not proud of.”

“Like taking out the ‘trash’?” Hux shrugged out of Ren’s hoodie, and in one fluid motion he peeled the red tshirt underneath off of his chest and over his head.

“Yes.” Ren’s movements slowed again. He watched Hux with lips slightly parted before tousling his hair with one hand. “You know, they say you shouldn’t wear red if you’re a redhead.”

“So?” Hux frowned, looking at him icily.  _ I like red. Fuck off. _

“Some people say it clashes too much with ginger hair.” He went back to squeezing his curls. “But I think you pull it off just fine.” Hux looked away, surprised at the sincere compliment. He automatically fluffed his bangs back from his face, scratching nervously at a spot above his ear. He had always been proud of his hair color. Before he could respond, Ren turned off the light and hopped into bed so hard that the springs gave a sharp squeal in protest.  _ Did he learn that trick from Phoebe? _

Hux heard him sigh, sinking into the pillows, not even bothering to put the blankets over himself.  _ Why did I even bother making the bed? _

They were quiet for some time, even after Hux nestled underneath of the covers on his sleeping bag. It was pretty comfortable on the floor, but sleep was eluding him. There was one window in the guest bedroom, and the rain hit against it gently, providing the best natural backdrop for drifting into a restful slumber. But he just couldn’t.  _ Not with Ren laying right there, wide awake _ .

“Are you asleep?” Ren asked, his spooky telepathy working again. Hux, positioned right next to Ren, except lower, contemplated how he should’ve put their pillows on opposite ends. He would’ve preferred Ren be near his feet instead of near his face.

“Yes. I’m fast asleep.”

“Smartass.” Ren seemed to think for a minute, and then rolled over. A small squeak from the bed, and then a slightly smaller squeak from Hux when he felt Ren’s hand on his forehead. He blinked automatically when Ren’s fingertips brushed past his eyes, caressing his cheek. “You faker,” Ren whispered. “You’re not even trying to sleep.”

“What do you want?” Hux asked, trying to make his voice sound harsh. It didn’t work in a whisper.  _ His hand smells like flowers _ . God, what good is a conscience if it does nothing but distract you? Being around this kid was draining him of all his mental capabilities, he was certain of it. Hux sighed deeply, feeling his breath echo back to him from Ren’s palm. Ren shrugged, his hand bouncing from his cheek up to accidentally bop Hux on the nose. Hux swatted it away, half-hearted, and Ren seemed to realize he didn’t really resent the touch. He brought his hand to Hux’s bare shoulder instead of his face and traced a small circle there.  _ He’s passing it off like his arm’s just dangling naturally, but…  _

“I have a question,” Ren murmured.

“Hmm.”

“You could’ve run. After the Maid, after my condo…”

Silence.  _ Should’ve run, probably _ .

“So why didn’t you?”

“You choose the exact time before we go to sleep to ask the questions that require the most energy,” Hux groaned, pulling up his left hand to cover his eyes, rubbing them in agitation. “You just have this incredible knack for bad timing.”

Ren went to pull his hand away, but Hux caught his wrist and sat up a bit to grab Ren above his elbow - _ so that this doesn’t hurt him _ -. With one forceful pull, he yanked the kid out of the bed and into his arms on the floor, along with a third of the blanket, half of the sheet, and one of the pillows. Ren made a noise at him between his teeth, but even in the dark Hux could tell it was insincere.  _ Look at the wall. Remember Krav Maga. Remember that Phoebe can kick your ass. _ Even though there were thick blankets separating them, Hux repositioned himself so that Ren’s tailbone was resting on his thigh instead of in the middle of his lap. The kid’s legs were all akimbo, still tangled in the sheets that hung half on the bed, and he didn’t look really bothered to close them or readjust in any way. Like a cat, Ren lay curled up and perfectly content. He looked up at Hux with some kind of amusement playing on the edge of his lip. With one hand, he reached up and flicked Hux’s bangs to the side, out of the way of his eyes. The blue light of the rain filtered the street lights outside and brought it cascading down onto them, and for a minute Hux felt like he was drowning.  _ Dangerous. This is dangerous. _

“I ran away for the first time,” he was whispering before he realized it, “on my eleventh birthday. I only made it to the driveway.” Ren dropped his hand, immediately engrossed. Hux swallowed, hard, cradling Ren close as if this way he could better protect him, better keep him safe.

“What happened?” Kylo asked, hesitant.  _ Don’t pry _ , Phoebe had told him.  _ She never said don’t share. _ Hux swallowed again.

“I’ve never told anyone the truth.”

“So tell me now.” Ren reached up, smoothed his own bangs out of his face, and left his hand on Hux’s shoulder. It reminded him of how he’d braced on Ren’s shoulders as he stood up, how he’d needed to feel stable and the kid had been his support.

“We were having a party.” Memories flooded back. He swore he could smell the candle smoke, that sweet waxy smoke that only came during birthdays or power outages. “I was living with my parents, out on our farm. I know,” he glanced down at Ren, who was enraptured and quiet - _ for once _ \- as he listened to Hux’s story. “I know, it seems weird, to go from a farm on the edge of Thorn to the middle of Saluta City.”

“Not to me it doesn’t.” Ren grit his teeth as if he regretted having spoken. “Continue.”

“There were three kids there. I will never forget their names.”  _ Or their faces. Or their screams _ . “But the only one who matters is Malim. He was the only friend I had, back then. His family lived on the farm beside mine,”  _ tobacco instead of corn, black hair instead of red, blue eyes the only thing we had in common,   _ “and we would sometimes play in the woods together if we finished our chores on time. There was this creek out back,” he laughed, feeling stupid, because he could almost see it in the reflection of the rain on the duvet in front of him. He repositioned himself, hoping the sound of the rustling blankets as he pulled Kylo into a more comfortable position would cover his loud sniffle.  _ Careful. _ “Anyway, these three kids were over, and we had just finished opening my presents. I got a sticker book, some socks, and then this stupid triceratops light up toy from Malim.” He stammered out a laugh. “The damn thing made noise even when you turned its switch off… it was busted,”  _ which is why Malim could afford it, it was most likely in the Goodwill collecting dust without batteries, _ “and it made this kind of high pitched shriek that drove my mother insane so she sent us outside to play.”

“You loved it,” Ren commented.

“I loved it,” Hux chuckled. He took a steadying breath. “I didn’t have that many toys. This one was probably the nicest, even as broken and old as it was. I wouldn’t even look at the sticker book, which apparently pissed off the others so they went to play in my room. Malim and I stayed outside, on my trampoline.” Hux felt a catch in his chest, and he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to bear Ren’s gaze on him as he spoke. “I wish we’d gone in the house.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know how it happened, but we got ahold of this idea to jump on the trampoline with the garden hose. Like a waterpark. I wanted to take the triceratops on this,” he waved his hands through the air, illustrating a dumb fanciful kid idea as if it were a tangible object, “weird river safari, or whatever. Malim looked so excited, he was gathering leaves and shit, scattering them over the trampoline for the triceratops to eat.”

He paused. Had it really only been six years ago? It felt longer.

“I don’t know when it happened, before or after my mom popped out to tell us to be careful. We set the garden hose on the trampoline and started bouncing. It was slick, dangerous. The sun was sweltering, though, so the water was like a necessity. Least, we thought it was at the time.”  _ It tasted like copper when we drank from the hose. Tap water never bothered us. _ “The leaves were like an obstacle course we avoided with our feet. When we slipped on the water puddles and fell, we’d just bounce right back up… so I figured it was okay.” He swallowed hard. “At some point, Malim took the toy and wouldn’t give it back. I kept trying to argue with him. He told me to stop, and I did, but we fought anyway. I… hit him. I took the triceratops and I hit him with it.”  _ His eyes were blue, and he looked like he hated me. _ “He hit me back, punched me so hard that I cracked my head on the metal ring surrounding the trampoline.” Hux paused, bringing one of Kylo’s hands to his hairline. He searched with his fingers, drawing Ren’s along, until he found the tiny slit of a scar on his temple. “Feel that?” Nod from Ren. “That’s where I had to have stitches hours later, once my parents realized I was hurt.”

“They didn’t come out when they heard you two fighting?”

“No. I don’t know where they were, but it was just me and Malim. He kept jumping, like we’d never fought, and I hated that.”  _ I didn’t even matter to him. I was bleeding, and he cared more about making that dinosaur bounce with the leaves _ . “I got so mad that I pushed him.”

There was silence, except for the cleansing sound of the rain.

“He bounced once on the trampoline. He couldn’t get his footing because of the fucking garden hose. He went over the side at an angle, and I heard the crack but I didn’t see it.” Hux forced his eyes open, forced himself to look at Ren’s face while he spoke. He wanted to register the horror there, if there was any. He wanted to feel Ren absorbing the memory, as if he could get rid of it this way. “I laughed, Ren. My first instinct wasn’t to help him. It was to laugh.”

“Hux.”

“Malim didn’t get up. He couldn’t move, he just blinked at me.”  _ His eyes were blue _ . “They took him to the hospital, but he passed away in the ambulance on the way there.”

“And so you ran.”

“Not at first.” Hux shook his head, a numbness replacing his urge to cry. “At first, I held out hope he’d be okay. Then, after his parents called my parents from the hospital, I fell into this… cold daze, I guess is the best way to describe it.” He hadn’t spoken for days after. He’d wondered if it was going to be the last thing he’d ever say, for a while, his laugh at Malim’s pain.  _ Was that the last thing he remembered, before he died? Being laughed at? _

“Is this why you ran the second time? Because of the guilt?”

“Partially.” Hux sighed, feeling drained on a deeper level than just physical fatigue. He was too tired to talk about the second part, the other half that made him go and stay gone. He looked down at the kid in his arms, his eyes pleading for something he didn’t know he needed

Ren seemed to understand without making Hux say it. He reached up, his hands finding the nape of Hux’s neck, drawing him down. Hux sighed against Ren’s throat, inhaling deeply the calming scent of violets, the sweet aroma of honey. He felt Ren press his cheek to his jugular, felt him hold Hux back just as tight.  _ Stay here. Right here. Like this.  _ It was the first hug they’d shared, and it left Hux feeling like a shell of himself, yet full at the same time. The only comparable feeling was when he hurt himself and sobbed openly and fully as a little kid. Had he been holding onto this weight that long? He’d never told anyone what had happened, had just told them that Malim had fallen. He never admitted it out loud before.  _ I murdered him, and I laughed before he died _ .

Before Ren could say anything, Hux coughed; the sound made the kid flinch in his arms. Hux pulled away, surprised to feel tears slipping over his cheeks.  _ Enough _ . He swiped them away with the back of his hand, composing himself before he made eye contact with Ren again.

“I came to Saluta to get as far away from my past as possible. I did some things to get on my feet that I’ll tell you about later, along with everything else,” Hux promised.  _ Maybe _ . Ren narrowed his eyes at this. “But to answer your question tonight… I chose to stay because I know what it feels like. To run from something. To feel like you have nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to.”  _ I can’t let it happen to you _ . “I feel like it would have been easier if I’d had someone around at that age.”  _ To talk to.  _ “To tell me I was being stupid.”

“I see,” Ren stared up at the ceiling, avoiding Hux’s gaze for a minute as he processed things. With one hand he propped himself up so that he was no longer lying in Hux’s lap but sitting across from him. “Don’t worry then. I’m here now.”

“Really?” Hux quirked his lip at this, his turn to act suspicious. “And you’re going to make it all better, are you?”

“Yeah. I’m good at telling you when you’re being stupid,” the kid laughed. He even had the fucking audacity to wink at him too.  _ Brat. _

Hux kissed him. He didn’t have the words for his gratitude, for his shame. He drew Ren forward, seeking forgiveness. Ren gave it. The kid was less hesitant this time, maybe because Ren himself hadn’t initiated it violently; this time, he knew what to expect from Hux, knew how gentle it could be. Hux drew a ragged breath, pulling away when Ren nipped at his upper lip, as if he were keen to get back to where they’d been in the cab.

“We really have to sleep,” Hux whispered.

“Later,” Ren promised, in the same tone Hux had promised to tell him everything.  _ It means he’s lying. _ Hux groaned, definitely alright with that. He was moving in closer to succumb to the kid’s every whim when they heard the panicked scream from downstairs.


	6. Chapter 6

It was more of a shout than a scream, as if wrent from someone who had just opened the fridge door to find maggots inhabiting the food they were going to eat for dinner. Ren tense in his arms, Hux forced them to wait. _We don’t know what’s going on._ They paused, craning their necks to listen, their heartbeats fast and weak in their wrists.

Another cry this time, lower, guttural, a reaction to pain. Scrambling. Scraping of chairs, the sharp crack of a table hitting the floor, clothes being torn. Voices. Lots of voices. Ren shoved Hux back against the pillows and was out the door. He tripped over the entanglement of sheets and fell to his knees, groaning low as he crawled on all fours to keep up his momentum. Hux was on Ren’s heels, sidestepping the mess of blankets, and their feet beat out a staccato drum together against the dark hardwood as they took the steps downstairs two at a time. When they got to the landing with their shoes and jackets, they stopped to listen for where the sound was coming from. _From close by? Had they left?_

“Please,” Phoebe begged, her voice recognizable through the door leading to the club. As if built from pure nerve endings, Ren burst through the door without a second thought. His barefoot feet slapped the cold floor, his long legs carrying him in fast strides to the woman who had tried to protect them. Hux slipped his feet in the Converse as fast as he could while struggling to stay upright; the tension in his body was coiled tight and tipping him off balance. He didn’t know what would happen if they burst forth into danger like this, didn’t know why Ren had gone without waiting for him.

“Goddamnit,” he hissed, cursing as his heels finally dropped into the shoes. The voices were escalating, and he heard Ren’s at the forefront.

“Let her go!”

There was a harsh smacking sound in response, a ground-out cry as Ren hit the ground.

Hux ran out into the hall, past the restrooms and the manager’s office, brushing the black bead curtain aside, a few tendrils catching on him as if it were alive and trying to keep him still with its jeweled tentacles. He heard the beads from the shattered cords drip across the floor, and the ten or so people in the room all turned to look at him.

He couldn’t move. Hux stood there, rooted in place, absorbing the sheer volume of enemies crowded together in a semi circle by the door. Ren was picking himself up off the floor, shaking his head as if to clear it from whatever - _whoever_ \- had hit him. His lip was split. Phoebe was on her knees watching him stand up and trying to hush him in a soothing voice; her shoulders were being held down by three large men. _Maids._ Static crackled through the air (a side effect of the electric rods they had tied to their backs) and the hairs on the back of Hux’s neck stood upright. To his right, four other men of various heights and sizes. Waiting. Weapons ready. Bats, extended canes, glints of knives, chains and ropes. Silent weapons, for the most part. All of them painful. All of them torturous. Furthest to the side, with a bodygaurd at either of his shoulders, was an older man in a wheelchair. He had a long gash across his skull, and more subtle claw marks raked white over his face. He wore a black smoking jacket, the silk glinting wetly in the dim lighting of the bar, that held an emblem of red above the left breast. The man’s eyes turned to him, as if he had finished evaluating both Phoebe and Ren and was now determining whether Hux himself posed any threat. Hux worried he would never see light again, not after looking into those black, pitless eyes. The man relaxed, moving his lips like he was chewing something.

“Come, now,” the old man coaxed, his throat producing a strong tone of conviction. He knew Hux wouldn’t be asked twice, whatever he said next was the only time he would say it. “There’s no need for such a fuss.”

Hux moved forward a few uncertain steps, his breathing sharp and painful in his fear. All the men were dressed in black with silver or red accents, and all the man had a tattoo of a red circular symbol visible on their necks by their shirtcollars. The large ones holding Phoebe down seemed winded and angry - _she put up a fight_ \- and the weaponed men had their eyes solely on Ren.

Kylo Ren was the only one moving out of all of them. Everyone else stayed in a complete tableau of violence, positioned just so, like a renaissance painting of a biblical scene. Ren wouldn’t have any of that, was not one to wait and wonder. He paced back and forth like a caged animal, unarmed and very aware that he would stand no chance against the group. He had tried, would probably keep trying. _Who did he lunge for?_ Hux looked up. A blonde man was wincing, rolling his shoulder tenderly. _Him._

“Let Phoebe go,” Ren repeated. “You’re right, there’s no need for a fuss, so just-”

“Benjamin,” the man in the wheelchair rumbled. His voice was clear, all-encompassing, but still Ren paced. He flinched at the name, his eyes growing wild and his words of persuasion dissolving into nothing but panicked breaths. “You know we can’t do that. She harbored my fugitive-”

“-I didn’t mean for-”

“-which means she must be punished.” The man in the wheelchair raised his hand and two of the Maids lifted Phoebe to her feet with ease. She wasn’t crying. She stared straight ahead, as if she had known this would happen. As if she had accepted it hours ago. Hux moved forward, slow steps, as if he were walking through a dream that was not his own.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she said, her voice surprisingly even for someone who had a bleeding gash above her lip and a pocket of fluid swelling underneath of one eye. “Please. Snoke, sir, I didn’t-”

“Silence,” the man in the wheelchair - _Snoke I guess_ \- barked. Phoebe flinched, her eyes closing. Her shoulders were rolled back, as if her hands were tied behind her. It looked painfully tight. She was being supported underneath of her armpits by two of the three Maids, their hands large and bulky. _It must hurt, having your shoulders held up that way._ But still, Phoebe was unbreakable. Hux watched her, guilt clawing nastily at the inside cavern of his heart. He watched her glance at Ren, the self-sacrifice on her face evident to everyone in the room. She knew Ren couldn’t help her now.

“I’ll go back, I’ll do the job right, myself, like I should’ve,” Ren pleaded, still pacing, his hands at his hair. He was crying now, openly, his voice coming in wracking sobs. He moved over to Snoke, just a foot closer, and the two men on either side of the wheelchair turned in unison to Ren and put their hands to their hips. The kid let out a keening cry, realizing he was trapped where he stood, and still Hux watched.

“You’ve already proven you can’t be trusted. Going online and posting such an obvious thing, then running away when we came to collect you,” Snoke sighed, clucking his disapproval with his tongue on the back of his front teeth. His face grew grave, deadly serious, as if he were an executioner about to press the plunger on a lethal hypodermic. From the sickened look on Ren’s face, he might as well have. “You put the family further at risk. You’re lucky I caught it in time to take it down, before anyone could answer you and do what you could not.”

Phoebe’s breathing was coming quicker now, her mind losing its ability to keep calm in the face of such a threat. Snoke snapped his fingers twice at one of the men with the weapons, motioning in a lazy criss cross of his index finger in Phoebe’s direction.

“No, please, I’m begging you, I’ll find Rey, I will,” Ren’s voice was higher now, like the fifteen year old he really was, and still Hux stood there. _What can I do?_

Snoke turned to him, then, turned to Hux inexplicably as if he had heard his every word. His black eyes narrowed, the rich silks of his robe falling as he snapped his finger once in Phoebe’s direction.

_Nothing._

Phoebe let out a whimper at the flash of the knife, but it was over quickly. She exhaled, long and groaning, against the blade that had been plunged into her side. It sounded like a regular punch, just a normal blow, right below her ribs. Her face was a contortion of surprise, and for a moment everyone was still. Maybe it hadn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. Maybe it missed the vital organs. Hux’s mind raced, trying to get a better look at where she’d been stabbed, trying to slow his breathing so that he wouldn’t pass out. Blood. There was blood. A sick, squishing noise as the knife pulled away, depriving the wound of suction. Before she fell backwards, the Maid holding her snapped her arms free, her only mercy. A noise behind him, the soft pat of a foot hitting the floor.

Hux turned in time to catch Ren as he lunged forward, the kid screaming at the top of his lungs. Hux’s ears rang from the miserable wail, his heart broke in two for him, but he still held fast. Ren’s black hair covered his eyes as he dipped his head low, the scream echoing back to him from the padded walls. His cheeks were streaked with tears, a tiny glob of spittle wetting his lower lip as he inhaled a ragged breath in the aftermath of his shout. The sound in the room started to fade to nothing. _Don’t faint Hux. Be careful._ Ren hit him, and it brought him back to reality. Ren was shoving him, trying to unlock himself from Hux’s grip, and Hux found himself actually having to fight him off. The kid’s knees were lifted up into his gut, he blocked them, but then Ren’s fists were at his ears and he had to move his arms to reposition his hold. Hux wrapped his arms around him - _I’ve done this so many times the past day_ \- but Ren had the leverage and slammed down on them with both elbows. Ren whirled to feint underneath of the grasp of one Maid closest to him, his eyes only on Phoebe, but the Maid was quicker than he thought. He grabbed Ren and held him pinned even as the kid kicked and thrashed like a wild beast against the Maid’s forearm.

“Calm yourself, Benjamin,” Snoke said, his voice a leather belt pulled taut, ready to dole out a lashing. “You are making a scene.”

“What the fuck have you done!”

“What I had to. You were thinking of leaving, right? Of running away?” Ren flinched and stared as if Snoke had slapped him across the face. “Oh I know what you’re thinking alright. But you’re wrong. No matter who comes to save you, no matter who you enlist to help you, you belong to us. We have ways of making you stay. Easy ways,” he pointed to himself, as if he were one to show mercy and kindness. “And difficult ways,” Snoke pointed to Phoebe, laying on the floor, both hands pressed on her stab wound. She’d pulled her sweater over it. _Smart girl. Keep it covered. Press tight._ She was breathing slowly and with difficulty, her eyes trained up on the ceiling, but she was breathing.

“I can’t do this anymore,” the kid moaned.

“Of course you can. You are a part of the family.” It was a threat, not a statement of fact.

“I don’t want to go back,” Ren snarled, savage in his convictions. “I’d rather die!” Ren spat on the floor to illustrate his point, clenching his teeth and struggling even now against the meaty hands clamped hard on his biceps. Hux watched as Snoke sighed heavily and then began to  wave his finger, criss crossing in Ren’s direction--

“Stop!” Hux shouted, his voice raw. He was taking huge, heaving breaths, and background noise finally returned. Tiny, fluttering cries from Ren as he faced what would most likely be his death; wheezing breath from Phoebe as she struggled to keep her lungs from collapsing; the shuffling of trousers and jingling of chains from the weaponed thugs; sighs from tense bodyguards having waited too long to be told when to pounce; and finally, the squeek of a wheelchair as it turned to face Hux.

“Who are you?”

“Don’t tell him anything,” Ren kicked out at the bodyguard holding him, and two Maids moved in to tie him up as they had Phoebe. It was a weak move, his legs barely lifting from the floor. _He’s getting tired._

“Who I am doesn’t matter,” Hux said, as calmly as he could muster. “You’re the one in charge here. I can tell. I can be of service to you.”

“Speak plainly boy,” Snoke said, dropping his hand. _Ren is okay for now. Keep Ren safe._

“Stop it!” Kylo shouted, and the one man who had stabbed Phoebe stepped forward and clocked him in the jaw, hard enough to throw the kid’s head backwards. Hux twitched, ready to run over, but stopped himself. Kylo raised his head slowly, his breathing heavy, his lungs barely holding back his moans as he controlled the pain and stayed conscious. Instead of staring at his attacker, he was staring at Hux. As if he knew what he was thining. As if he really could read minds. Hux blinked to free himself from the unreal vision of Ren’s jaw swelling _-where you traced your thumb, where you helped him kiss you_ \- and turned back to Snoke.

“I have a proposition.” He stepped forward, and Snoke regarded him with the same cool disinterest as before, as if daring him to say something that was of importance. “Not only should you take Ren back, and allow him to make up for this discrepency in following orders-”

“Fuck you,” Ren wailed, “Hux, please, we can still run-”

“Will you just shut up!” Hux barked, his voice tearing deep within his throat. “Goddamn, every single fucking moment, you’re saying something!” Hux’s words hit home, each one sliding into place as effortlessly and as painfully as knives. He had no need for weapons, he used his words. _Or laughter._ He turned back to Snoke, who had not reacted to Hux’s volume change in the slightest, as if Snoke were not even physically present in the chair before him. Hux took a shuddering breath, not finished. _Still more damage to be done._ “As I was saying. Take Ren back, and I will pledge my allegiance to the Black Regent.”

“No,” Ren mumbled behind him. It wasn’t directed at Hux though. It was directed inward, a keening cry, Ren begging himself to wake up from the nightmare Hux was painting in front of him.

“What use would I have for a nobody?” Snoke asked, and even though it sounded like a rhetorical question Hux could tell that Snoke wanted an answer. He ignored the sobs dissolving into the air behind him, even though they made him feel like he had been stabbed and not Phoebe. He focused on standing straighter.

“I used to be a part of the Vocem Inferma, the people’s militia. I was on a team of members responsible for the attacks on the subways of Bola and Karima, and was trained underneath of the engineering master responsible for the biochemical weapon the Black Regent currently holds as leverage over the other syndicate families in the area.” Hux took a breath. _Ren’s stopped crying._ He didn’t want to turn, didn’t want to see what kind of betrayal had taken over the face of the boy he had tried to protect. _I did some thing I wasn’t proud of. All of them legal._ The lies he’d told the kid tasted sour in Hux’s mouth, like copper water from a garden hose.

“You’ve an extensive resume for someone so young. How have you been avoiding Black Regent?” Snoke asked, his voice quiet, pensive.

“I used a series of fake names. I’ll give you my current one, and my loyalty, if you just agree to take Ren back and employ me, forgiving us for this moment of weakness.”

“You keep saying that name. Do you mean this brat,” _you aren’t allowed to call him that,_ “Benjamin?” Snoke looked over, past Hux’s shoulder, then brought his gaze back to the redhead. “He’s proven himself weak and unworthy of the name you call him by. He couldn’t even handle killing a little girl.”

“She was only five years old!” Ren lamented.

“And a prime witness in an important trial!” Snoke shouted, his voice making everyone freeze in their place. It boomed with a ferocity that shocked Hux. He seemed so weak. _Do not underestimate him_ . Snoke settled back in his chair, his eyes fluttering as if he were explaining the situation to an idiot, and added in a calmer voice, “ _Benjamin_ here managed to dispatch of her whole family, didn’t you?” No answer. “You didn’t hesitate when I asked you to take out the father. And the mother. And even the uncle. You only hesitated with her.”

Silence. Confirmation. _Brave._

“If Rey De Santis is still out there, that means one of the family members’ lives is at stake-- and now the boy has to pay the price.”

“So punish him,” Hux whispered, his voice hoarse. “What do you do with a child who’s disobeyed you?”

“I don’t know. What?” Snoke asked, as if he were indulging Hux in a tired knock knock joke he already knew the answer to.

“You don’t spare the rod, that’s for damn sure,” he said, not even hearing his own voice anymore. Snoke tilted his head, looking up at the ceiling, and stroked his white stubbled chin with one hand.

This was not Hux speaking. It was a different person. It was not the same Hux that had pulled Ren up from kneeling before him in the alley, it was not the same Hux that had held him in the dark of a wardrobe. He was different, colder, emptier. Ren could sense it. His breathing grew still, as if he were refusing to cry anymore. _As if he finally realized he has no allies here, only a circle of betrayers._

Behind Ren, Phoebe gurgled on the floor. Without breaking his intense stare from Snoke, Hux listened for her, trying to gauge what she was doing. She was trying to keep quiet, but the clock was ticking, and her breathing sounded wet and wrong somehow. _If her lung was hit, she doesn’t have much time, I can save her if I just act quickly._ Hux heard renewed struggle from behind him, feral growls more dog than human, then a series of blows began to land and the growls went quiet.

“Tell us when is enough, since you seem to know so much about discipline,” Snoke said, his black eyes glimmering. _Different from Ren’s. Empty. Ren’s eyes were black, but they held galaxies within their depths every time he teared up._ “Turn around, stranger. If you want us to spare his life so badly, you’ll need to make damn sure he knows never to run away again.”

Hux obeyed, turning heel tightly and walking over to where the weaponed man was hitting Ren. He forced himself to watch, forced Ren to see him standing over him. On the seventh hit, one to the kid’s ribs, Hux heard a telltale crunch and held up his hand. The weaponed man stopped. Hux looked over, memorizing. _Blonde hair, brown eyes, scar on his nose, thin, wiry, moves with a limp, I will find you_.

“Well done,” Snoke chuckled. “I suppose we’ll take our leave then.”

“I’ll gather his things,” Hux said, turning to Snoke and waiting for his approval for him to take his leave and go to the guest room to get Ren’s duffel bag.

“Wait.” Snoke clicked his fingers, and one bodyguard wheeled him closer to Hux. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Hux.”

“Just Hux?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” Snoke watched him, assessing him. “You did well today. If I get word that you’ve left this post-” _He’ll kill Ren,_ Hux thought, his blood going cold, “-then I will send _Benjamin_ here to kill you himself.”

“Understood,” Hux whispered. He lowered his gaze, then turned and tried not to run as he scrambled back to the guest room to gather Ren’s things.

He threw things haphazardly into the bag, even including his shirt. He hesitated, wondering if he should put it on _-no time you fool_ \- and then threw it into the duffel along with the rest. He zipped it with difficulty, then went to leave. His jacket stopped him, the leather hanging on the bedpost caught his eye and pinned him. He grabbed it, not allowing himself a moment to think, and ran down the steps.

When Hux got back to the bar, only two bodyguards remained. Nobody had made a move to help Phoebe, seemingly unphased with whatever her future outcome might be. Live, die, they were only here for the boy. They were holding Ren up just like Ren had supported Hux when he had his splinter. The kid’s face was a contortion of pain and attempts at control, at war with itself. He was listening intently to Snoke, nodding every few sentences. Hux could only catch the last one.

“Are you ready to leave little Benjamin fully behind now?” Snoke asked him, a semblance of caring in his voice. “To truly commit to being a part of the Regent? To become Kylo Ren?”

“I am,” Ren answered. His voice was different as well, as Hux’s had been. This was not the kid who had called him for help, or cried when Hux attempted to leave him alone. This was a child filled with hatred, confirmed suspicion, and a darkness all his own. “By the grace of your training, I am.”

“That’s my boy,” Snoke rasped, a smoker’s laugh rumbling forth. He glanced backward, as if he had forgotten Hux had left. “Oh. Your things.”

“Here,” Hux set his leather jacket on top of the duffel bag. He stared at Ren, begged him to understand. _Something to remember me by._

“I don’t want that,” Ren said coolly, or as coolly as one could say things with at least one broken rib. Snoke snapped his fingers and one bodyguard knocked the jacket onto the floor and shouldered the bag in one fluid motion.

“Please,” Hux said, gritting his teeth against the urge to cry. “I need you to take it.” Ren’s eyes were wide, filled with disbelief. The kid gave a laugh, then winced at the subsequent pain. He shrugged off the support the bodyguards were giving him, and when one held his hand on him too long the kid lashed out and palmed him in the nose, crushing it and sending blood spewing forth over them both. The bodyguard stumbled back, clutching his face, and Snoke chuckled darkly. Ren had made his point. Nobody touched him as he walked forward.

He took shaky steps over towards Hux, knelt with difficulty, and grabbed the jacket.

“Oh Hux.” Ren stood, grimacing in well-concealed agony, the left side of his face an ugly purple-ish red. He thrust the jacket out between them, almost punching Hux in the chest with it. “You take it. You’ve earned it.” He stepped forward again, and Hux swallowed reflexively. “I want you to wear it every day. I want you to think of me. In the meantime, I’m going to forget everything about you.”

“Ren-”

“You did this,” the kid whispered, and Hux had no answer. _Please._ Ren turned, walking slowly back to the door. He lifted an arm, waiting for the support of a body - _anybody but Hux_ \- and when a bodyguard slid in by his ribs he ground out a moan. They trickled out the door, in a slow and almost funerary procession, and Hux had no time to wallow in the sadness he felt threatening to overtake him. As soon as Snoke’s henchmen closed the door to the bar he sprinted over to the other side of the bar and fell down at Phoebe’s side.

“Phoebe? Wake up, I’m here, we’re going to fix this.”

“Straw…” she gasped out, keeping her eyes closed. “Knife… sink… bring it.” Hux did as she asked, grabbing a drinking straw from a red glass vase and a thin paring knife from its magnetic strip underneath of the sink. He brought everything over, kneeling beside her.

“Tell me what to do, I’ll call an ambulance once you can breathe.”

“Here…” she tapped a point between her ribs, above the stab wound. Hux touched it gingerly, and Phoebe grabbed his hand hard. She positioned his fingers between the two ribs, staring at him to make sure he knew that he had no room to hesitate. _This will hurt no matter what, so you better do it right_ , her eyes seemed to say. She was keeping her breathing low and calm, as if she had put herself into a collapsed state in order to survive the wound. Hux tried to do the same, taking three deep breaths to steady his hand. He braced one hand against her ribs, touching the knife tip to her skin, and focused his mind.

In one quick push, he cut through skin and tissue, into the cavity necessary, and replaced the knife with the straw to drain out the air that had pooled within. _She’s okay, she’s going to be okay._ Phoebe’s breathing evened out, and Hux ran back and forth grabbing towels from behind the bar for her to further staunch the blood flow. Once he had her hands pressing into the blood, he called an ambulance. He stayed on the line with them, unable to speak after he’d shouted that there had been an accident at the Rouge Heaven club, and sat with Phoebe until two paramedics took her away on a stretcher. They asked him a few questions, their voices far away from him. _Shouldn’t I come too?_ But they left him there, huddled on the floor of the bar, shivering and rocking himself. They left him there, as if on orders to do so no matter what.

There were no police. _Why would there be?_ When the ambulance sirens faded from his ears, Hux stayed sitting on the floor by the bloodstain that Phoebe had left. He stared at it, trying to find a picture in it, but could only see his own shadow in the bar light. In the silence of the aftermath, he heard Ren’s sobs. He heard his cries of pain as blow after blow of his punishment landed. He heard the betrayal in his voice when he- _Stop. It’s over._ After a few minutes, he rummaged around and found a mop and bucket.

Hux cleaned methodically, wiping up the crimson until the black floor shone. He washed the knife he’d used to pierce Phoebe’s lung. He cleaned up the tables and chairs that had most likely been knocked over when Phoebe had fought back. He swept up the beads he’d pulled down from the curtain in his haste to run after Ren. He locked the door, positive that if Snoke came back he already had a key, but doing it made him feel better anyway. He padlocked it, deadbolted it, and twisted the key in.

With heavy feet, he dragged his body upstairs, to where their blankets still lay disheveled and unkempt. _Later_ , Ren had said. _I’s later now, it’s time to sleep._ Hux knelt, then fell to his side, his hands shaking uncontrollably. The weight of what he’d done to save Ren’s life threatened to crush him, and he let it wash over his body in cold waves. He could not run from this guilt, nor would he if he had the opportunity. He had to stay put, until further notice, and had in fact given up his life along with the kid’s. Did that count for nothing? _Remember everything. You’ve earned it._

He screamed into the pillows, one of which smelled painfully of amber-sweet violets, until his throat felt bloody and raw. Only then did cleansing tears come, flowing out of him like secrets told in private train cabins and questions asked over bad coffee. He cried for Benjamin, the name Ren hated; he cried for Malim, for the repeat of that inescapable cruelty he had allowed to surface tonight; and he cried for himself, for the leather jacket that lay unwanted and unprotected on the floor of the bar where it had fallen from his trembling fingers, the last thing of his that Ren would ever touch.

The grey of the morning changed slightly as rain gave way to a lighter fog, and it was only when Hux had completely exhausted himself that he fell into a heavy slumber. It felt almost like death, and he welcomed it. It was mercifully dreamless, an ocean of pure black, like the color of someone’s eyes in a faraway memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end, but it's a pause before a big jump in the timeline. Also, a pause before Golden Week ;)


End file.
